Friday, July 22, 2011

SB Administration .. Can't Tell me Nuthin ... My God .. My God ,,.. Instant Classic

The most annoying fucking part of running a league is ADMINISTRATION!!!!!!!!
It's a thankless under the radar crucial part of every league. Some commissioners are brilliant at it

others are learning .. sort of

and some just suck at it. We all know that
cool ghetto picture in queens
and getting your league constituents information is vital, but sometimes you have to deal with a lot of bitch ass people that in all reality Can't Tell Me Nuthin

about running a league.  They just whine and complain. Complain and whine. Never say thank you - Bitch style - the worst part is when they start off a sentence by saying "I don't want to me difficult" .. that is such bullshit. You are fucking difficult, but you are the customer and need to be catered to so I deal with it Professionally.

Administration by its very nature requires patience as tedious but necessary things like schedules, permits, rain outs, illegal pitchers, protest requests, umpire issues, rosters, etc  have to be done and are NOT FUN. Playing is fun or at least its supposed to be fun. But why are people so fucking obsessed, ungrateful, and demanding for no fucking reason over simple administrative issues. You should know by now if your commissioner is a dick or on top of his game before you make his life so fucking miserable try working with him, if you know he's doing his best in a difficult situation. Show some love.

Anyway, let's look at some common softball administrative issues all commissioners deal with and what they are really thinking

Top Ten Annoying SB Admin Issues Commissioners have to deal with

10. Softball Admin Issue : I can't play that day b/c I will forfeit
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : How can I help/accommodate you?
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : I don't get paid enough for this shit. get 9 scrubs and play. Deal with it.

9. Softball Admin Issue : My schedule is too strong
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : In constructing a schedule, fairness and competitive balance are my number one priority.
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : Man up bitch. Embrace the challenge

8. Softball Admin Issue in July : What is the playoff structure
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : X number of teams make the playoffs
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : It's July haven't you read the rules yet you loser. I'm not your mom or school teacher. Take ownership of your team. I'm sick of baby sitting you

7. Softball Admin Issue : Why can't my pitcher be allowed to throw in your league
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : Your pitcher does not confirm to the pitching rules of this league.
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : He's a slinger you cheater - duh

 6. Softball Admin Issue : I would like you to consider my protest and not brush it off b/c it's only softball and not that important.
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : All protests that are properly filed will be reviewed for validity based on league and ASA rules
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : Fuck. I hate protests b/c it only costs me time and money and it takes away from what really matters  - the action on the field, but I will do it to the full extent of the governing law/rules b/c it's only fair and best for my league. Also, I want to fire the umpire who fucked up and has made my life miserable.

5. Softball Admin Issue : Can I pay you a little at a time?
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : We can work something mutually beneficial out
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : Do you pay for the movie before, during, or after you see the show? Pay now and save me the aggravation of sicing my henchmen
after you later.

4. Softball Admin Issue : Are we playing tonight if it rains?
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : If the field and/or weather conditions are clear play will commence as schedule
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : Do I look like God

to you dude? As Pusha T would say

My god .. My god .. what a stupid fucking question. Please never call me again. Even even if your on fire. My God .. My God

3. Softball Admin Issue : When is our next game? I don't have access or use the Internet, email, or text messaging. Please fax it to me
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : OK
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : OK Mr. 1985

1. Softball Admin Issue : Can I request umpires? B/c I hate this one motherfucking ump
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : The head official decides which umpires are assigned  to which games, but I will communicate your request and appreciate your feedback
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : I'm blaming everything on the head umpire on this one buddy. That's his job, I am so out of dodge on this one. Good luck sucker

and the Number One Annoying SB Admin Issues Commissioners have to deal with

1. Softball Admin Issue : During a game will the umpire decide the calls.
 Politically Correct Commissioner Response : Yes
Answer your commissioner is Really thinking : I've never heard a dumber question in my life .. My God My God

P.S. If you have a good commissioner please appreciate him, the job sucks but someone has got to do it.


  1. You put up or let someone else make the profit.

  2. White hillbilly muthafuckas doin' rap and hip-hop ! Gross ! Bunch of Deliverance muthafuckas ! Stick to yo banjos , white boys !

  3. Pusha T's bitch is smokin ' ! ........didn't she used to go out with Jeff Marcus ?