Saturday, December 22, 2007

Softball Insider Christmas Edition

It's Christmas and most people don't give a thought or even a damn about softball, nor should they I mean it's about kids, family, friends, and appreciating the good in our lives.

I love all the characters associated with X-mas and in my sick twisted mind I see a connection between them and Softball enthusiasts I know.

Oh Oh I guess that means I'm in the mood to write a Top Ten

Top Ten people or things in Softball that resemble Christmas Characters

10. SANTA!!!!!!
Everyone loves Old Saint Nick - and in softball everyone loves Jimmy Bitros.
When making a pick-up lineup he's checking his list, checking it twice, to make sure which
pick-up locos has been incarcerated more than twice.
Also, Jeff Marcus gets honorable mention as Santa only b/c he used to look like him before going on a diet.

9. Elves.
Santa slaves.
Poor guys don't even have a union and don't know how to function in normal society.

In Softball everyone in central park pick-up is like an elf ( me included) - angry for no reason.
Elves love Santa, Pick up players love Jimmy. Yet the both want to kill their leaders at times.

8. Reindeer's.
These guys are Union.
These guys are studs who get special treatment b/c Santa can't do the job without them.
They only work once a year and when the weather gets bad they stick some reindeer which a disability in the front in case they crash.

In softball, Stud players and wringers are reindeer's.
They think they are better than everyone else b/c they know the manager cant win without them. Fill in the blanks on who you think fits this description

7. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. - Bro they wrote a song about this guy

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.

You know the rest.

In Softball Rudolph is the worst guy on your team that most people shit on b/c that's human nature until he comes through for you big time and wins you some games. Rick?

6. Baby New Year
OK hes not really a Christmas character but who could ever forget the big eared kid from the Rudolph Christmas Special. Baby New Year symbolized a new beginning and after a long season all players crave a new beginning with the upcoming season

5. The Grinch that Stole Christmas - man this guy was cold and ruthless out for #1.
In softball, there are many nominees. Yorkoff, Rosenfishy, but I nominate wringer slinger pitchers who penetrate modified leagues and ruin the competitive balance of a league.

4. Tiny Tim. Mr."God Bless us all everyone"
In softball Little Dave is like an Angry version of Tiny Tim.
Except all Dave wants for Christmas is playing time and walks.

3. Bob Cratchit - worked for Ebeneezer Scrooge.
Had a tough job and was underpaid, but loved his family.
The softball version of Bob Cratchit is Blonde, the commissioner from
Puts up with a lot of bullshit and doesn't make any real money

2. Ebeneezer Scrooge. A Christmas Carol
Cheap, lonely, abusive, mean and bitter is no way to go through life.
Al Morales and Yorkoff softball represent Ebeneezer Scrooge.
They need to change.
Honorable mention Rick

and the #1 Softball Players that resemble Christmas Characters

1. Ghost of Past Present, and Future from a Christmas Carol
Ghost of Past - Van Courtland and Fat Freddy Lob Ball Softball league in the Bronx.
This is were it all began.
Present - Central Park, 54rth street, Long Island, Inwood - Good times that should be enjoyed
Future - for RIck - El Parque de la Ochenta - I live in Union City now, time to play in NJ