Saturday, August 30, 2008


Last Sunday in 2 very hard fought games my team West succumbed to the Borg, I mean Contact, in the Big apple league. I guess resistance is Futile after all.

Contact is probably the best defensive team I have ever played against and their victory was well earned. I wish them the best going forward.

The saddest part for me in this loss was not losing to Contact rather it was the reality that the long trying, but rewarding season, with West was over.

I've been on other Big Apple teams where I had bigger role or better statistics. but nothing quite topped the West experience.

We went through so much.

Injury - Jose freak eye injury comes to mind
Rain - It rained every week for like 2 straight months
Bad Umpires - I mean who can ever forget Mr Magoo
Heart Breaking Losses - Contact Working Class
Embarrassing Blowouts - is the Choice Parts game over yet?
Missing players all season - getting 10 guys was a mission
Players Quiting
Add new players - Frankie and Mike
Errors - too many
Hitting balls right at people - Rick couldn't sleep at night for a while
Playing must win softball after getting of to a miserable 4-8 start - Finished strong!!!
Through all the struggle our Manager John Sheppard held it together.

Don't get me wrong. John ain't perfect but he was the right man for the job.
Usually the most improved team or championship team's manager win Manager of the year. I personally vote for Sheppard because he never gave up

Managing West became an Obligation for him.
The pain, struggles, and losing got to him, but he never quit.
The loyalty and commitment among the players that he has earned is what kept the season from falling apart.

Going forward for us as a team is somewhat of a question mark considering what a trying year this was. I know one thing without Sheppard it would never be the same.

Holer Back!!!!!!!

Friday, August 22, 2008


One of the biggest sport stories going on right now is the Summer Olympics.

It got me wondering what if we had an Olympics for the softball community.

How would that go?

Top Ten Softball Olympic Events

10. THE JAVELIN EVENT - except in softball instead of throwing a Javelin we would throw Trophies.
Why not? Trophies are worthless anyway.
The manager of the Cardinals, Lou, would win the Gold as last week in the middle of Game three of the playoffs between the Sox and Cardinals he threw his 1st place regular season trophy onto the field for no good rhyme or reason. I say give him the gold b/c the commissioner of the central park league didn't give him a suspension, he might as well get something.

9 REVERSE TRACK AND FIELD - Instead of having the fastest guys run let's have the slowest do a race. Watching me run is always funny.

8. SOFTBALL - Cuba Vs USA vs. Dominican vs Mexico Vs PR vs Ireland.
The catch is you can only play on the team if you were actually born in the country.
This would be great for creating a race riot.

7. SWIMMING/DIVING - uh scratch that. I can't bear the thought of seeing most softball players in swimsuits.

6. BEACH VOLLEYBALL - As mentioned above swimsuits wearing is not allowed.
You have to play in your softball uniform.
I say Mickey Pekins and Eric win the Gold - you need to be fast and agile.

5. Tennis Anyone - Rob Ross is probably one the best tennis players that play softball.
B/c real Tennis is not inner city friendly, for the Softball Olympics we will change it to a NYC handball using a ghetto pink Spalldin ball

4. MARATHON - Run around Central park wearing your cleats, uniform, and holding your glove. the only catch is you have to drink beer, instead of water while doing it.
Murphy would probably win the Gold.

3. FENCING - No swords, just knives are used.
I'm sure finding knives to use won't be a problem in softball. call EMS , just don't play in the EMS league.

2. Soccer - This one might be tough.
Their is a lot of running involved in soccer and no courtesy runners are allowed.
I think we should just do penalty kicks except instead of kicking it you must hit a softball past a catcher wearing a helmet using an ASA approved bat of course.

and the Number One Softball Olympic event

1. BOXING/WRESTLING - OK here's how we do it in Softball.
One Contestant is the Catcher, the other contestant is the runner going home.
the ball is throw home and the runner must bowl over the catcher.
After the collision, a no holds bar boxing/wrestling brawl occurs.
The person who does not die wins the gold. - oh my bad this happens all the time anyway

Monday, August 11, 2008

How you End up at catcher

In 10 man modified Softball game the catching position for the most part is reserved for your worst fielder.

There are no stolen bases or passed ball.

Defense is limited to plays at home and pop ups.

It's not a fun or glamorous position to play.

So how does a player end up at Cather in softball?

Top Ten Ways you End up at Catcher

10. You suck and should never play a position facing the batter. You team is hiding you at catcher.
9. You don't really suck, but everyone on your team plays the field better than you
8. The pitcher likes you. I know a lot of bums who play only b/c the pitcher likes them.
Heck that bum is me, Castillo and Gil have gotten me in plenty of games b/c they requested me.
7. Your new to the team and someone has to catchers otherwise like Casey Stengel said "The ball would roll to the backstop after every pitch"
6. Your a damn good hitter who can't field.
5. You've got Bruto strength. You have a strong back and legs.
4. Your mad slow
3. Your scared of playing the field.
2. You enjoy getting abused by power tripping bully pitchers who take out there frustration of getting rocked or poor defense out on you. Your a glutton for punishment

and the Number One Way you End up at Catcher

1. Tie - Top Ten Tie at #1
1-10 Your too old to play anywhere else and you paid for the team
1-9 Your manager says it's catcher or the bench
1-8 Your fat and lazy
1-7 Injury - You can't throw or run
1-6 Confidence by either you or your manager is lost
1-5 You love to play
1-4 You love to win
1-3 You are a good catcher - know batters, frame pitchers and read batters, and most importantly are not afraid
1-2 Your not a Diva Bitch who refuses to catch
1-1 All the above

8 Men Out Part II

On July 11th 2007, I wrote a classic blog (check it out) about how I played some obscure & meaningless Yorkville softball game with the Loafers on Houston street late at night in the middle of the summer with only 8 players and won.

I joked we were like the 1919 Black Sox scandal

in that we were 8 guys alone playing ball.

Well last Saturday in the softball league only 8 players from the Sox showed up to play a PLAYOFF game.

Let me repeat that only 8 players from the Sox showed up to play a PLAYOFF game.

Playoffs, not exhibition, not Early season, not dog days, as legendary Cots coach Jim Mora would say PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!

That is fucking unbelievable and pathetic.

The 8 guys who were there:

Joe Soto
Ray Ray
Edgar Jr

were left alone to compete.

Luckily we played some bum ass team that should Never even be allowed to compete at the Class A level and won.

Luckily, I guess.

Now at least 5 guys were at a teammates wedding, but the other guys who threw us under the bus were flat out foul.


It gets worse for the Sox this week as we play a loaded Cardinals ball club without our top pitcher Edgar Jr who will be away attending a different wedding. has revived Saturday softball, but unfortunately it hasn't worked out for my teams.

Originally I played on the defending champs Uptown Chiefs run by Guby, when Guby's work schedule changed our team tanked and we became the Sox. That led to a lot of bitch ass whining and politics which made the season even less fun. The Sox played well until losing the last 4 down the stretch which led to last weekend's 8 men playoff game.

What will happen this week?

I never give up but perhaps the softball gods have been telling us something all along.

Monday, August 4, 2008


Is there a nastier 5 letter word for a softball player than Slump?
Everyone goes through it.
Some last a day, a week, a month or years. Wow years that's some deep shit.
They happen.

Most of time it comes from over swinging, trying to hard/pressing, or trying to prove to your teammates you belong. Hmm trying to prove you belong sounds like a good future blog topic, but for now let's get back to slumps. It's how you deal with it that counts.Relaxing, going back to basics, getting away from the game, liquor, are all highly recommended.

After a while it does become mental and like the great baseball idiot savant Yogi Berra

said "Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical. "
When I was single I asked a friend what is worse :"A batting slump or a sexual/dating slump?" and we both agreed a batting slump is far worse.Here's why

Top Ten Reasons a Batting Slump is Worse than a Sexual Slump

10. Liquor - If you haven't been able to hook up with someone you can always try to get them drunk and see if that works. If your in a batting slump getting the opposing pitcher drunk isn't quiet as effective or practical. Edge Sexual Slump

9. Referral - If you having trouble meeting someone a friend or a co-worker might be able to hook you up with another horny person. If your in a batting slump, no one can introduce you to a hit. You have to earn it. Edge Sexual Slump

8 Bars/Clubs vs Batting Cage- IF your lonely you can go to bars or nightclubs and try to meet other lonely people out there trying to meet Mr./Mrs Right. If your struggling at the plate you can always go to a batting cage and work on your mechanics. Both are usually a waste of time. Edge: Tie

7 Settle Factor - If you haven't gotten your rocks off in a while you can always meet someone ugly and release your frustration. In softball unless you get some clean hard hits, settling for a blooper or some other lucky hit doesn't quite satisfy your hunger.Edge Sexual Slump

6 Video/Internet. Watching Porn can help your demented sexually frustrated mind relax and lead you to #5 below. Watching videos of other people hit is OK I guess but Porn is way better. Edge Sexual Slump

5 Masturbation - If all else fails you always have self love. This is not possible in softball b/c no self hitting is allowed. Edge Sexual Slump

4. Privacy - If you keep your mouth shut no one needs to know that you can't get laid. But in softball everyone knows that your struggling b/c they can see it or look at your statistics. Edge Sexual Slump

3. Hard Luck - In dating you can do everything right for a girl and she still may not want to get it on. You can be a perfect gentleman, have a good job, dress GQ, take her dancing, and she still may only want to fuck her abusive ex-boyfriend. In softball you can hit the ball right on the button for an out and get nothing to show for it. That's why sometimes statistics are misleading. Edge Softball SLUMP. Sorry being a nice guy and not getting laid sucks.

2. Unexplainable Frustration Factor - both sexual/softball slumps are inexplicably frustrating. When you see another player with a terrible swing get hit after hit while your struggling it is really fucking annoying/frustrating. While in life when you see an asshole or an ugly person with someone that's hot while your going home alone to watch Star Trek rerun marathons on a Saturday Night that's fucking annoying as well. Edge : Tie

and the #1 Reasons a Batting Slump is Worse than a Sexual Slump
1. Money - You Can always buy sex. There are days when you can't buy a hit
Edge Sexual Slump are easier to deal with than batting slumps