Thursday, September 27, 2007

Wasted Spirit

Yesterday I wrote a blog while I was angry and that was a mistake.

I was angry for a lot of reason - The Mets collapse, my job status, my condo, softball blah, blah.

There is no excuse. I was too harsh and I apologize.

What's done is done, as most lessons are learned the hard way so nothing to do now but move on and Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons You Shouldn't Blog when your mad

10. You say things you really mean, but they don't come out right and you look bad, even though your are 100% right. Sometimes you just got to take the higher road and stay quiet.
9. In the short term you feel better, but in the long term you feel worse .
8. Mad blogs SUCK!!!!!! Most non-mad blogs suck but blogs written when you are upset are generally worse.
7. There not funny. Blogging and softball should be fun, not angry and bitter.
6. Angry Softball Blogs are not witty and insightful. They are childish and goonish. Good writing Provokes Thought and Inspire People.
5. Mad blogs lead to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to pain, pain leads to suffering. Something Yoda said in Star Wars - nerdy but cool
4. Their Ugly!!!!!
3. They are bad for Citysoftball business
2. Angry Blogs are Wasted Spirit - nothing worse in life than wasted spirit

and the #1 Reasons You Shouldn't Blog when your mad

1.Angry blogs don't make you a better player. It doesn't help you hit, field, throw, score runs, or win games. That's why we play softball!!!!! All the other stuff is bullshit

Monday, September 24, 2007

Inwood Fall League Sexy and 17 POWER RANKINGS

My blogs usually end up with a Top Ten , but tonight I just got home from a pathetic Met 13-4 LOSS and I'm feeling like a want to write something extra to unleash some of the pain and cold loneliness that comes with your team slowly blowing away a big lead in their division.

There are 17 Teams in the Inwood Fall League this season so why not A Top 17 Power Ranking.

Inwood Top 17 Power Ranking

17. Legends - Great Guys but have gone multiple seasons without a win. Di dmake playoffs once.
16. Panthers - Dave and his crew are off to a slow start. What do you expect with Inwood legend Youseff on the disabled list. We miss you bro
15. Keenans - so far going to the bar is more fun than going to their games. But this is softball ans anything can happen and a win over Tread Bike shop this week might be what they need
14. Gator Club - great enthusiasm. Hey give these guys credit they are the first team consisting of players that live below 96th street to join our league
13. Bronx Tianos - at some point they have to play the Chelsea Tianos for exclusive naming and licensing privileges.
12. Cajita - Georgie's crew has potential now if they could only wake up on time for the 9am games.
11. Twins - lots of enthusiasm. Was that a Weechie sighting last week?
10. Tiainos - good young ball club with talent that will make noise in the playoffs, but didn't take enough players from 06' champ Knockout to contend quite yet
9. Tread Bike Shop? Who ae these guys? Is this West? Is this Knockout? They don't even know what to chant in the huddle. A lot of toys for John Albert to play with, but will he pick XBOX or will be pick Coleco vision from under the softball X-Mas Tree.
8. Dominican Power - a fucking disorganized mess and a headache. They can hit, and are very loose when the play. Big Upset of perennial Iwood powerhouse Highlanders gives them credibility.
7. Tigers - good team that just picked up ex-Knockout LCF Richie. Mega Hick Stud Roberto is dying to hit a homer on field 3.
6. Bizcocheros - came strong last week to split with the muscle bound Bonao Stars.
5. Bonao Stars - so far the class of the Dominican teams in the league. League will enforce HGH testing on half their roster though. Man these guys are big.
4. Hawksquad - gotta give these guys credit. They almost did not have a team b/c their ace pitcher was banned from the league. Instead of folding they regrouped and came out and flat out whipped Tread Bike Shop last week.
3. Phillies - Bronx Powerhouse got swept and upset by the Criminals last week
2. Highlanders - 5-1 and Dio Jackson hasn't even been there. Impressive. Speaking of Dio he doesn't read my Top Ten's anymore. Smart man.
1. Criminals - last year in the semi's, can the finals be a possibility in 07'? With roster bigger and tougher than the Iraqi army anything is possible!!!!


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Where is the Captain?

Has anyone seen the guy in the middle?

He's Johnny Castillo? The Captain of Knockout.

One of the Greatest and most talented players in all of softball.

But he hasn't been seen in Inwood all season.

Their are many theories as to where he is, but no one really knows.

Here are some rumors floating around.

Top Ten Reasons as to why Castillo has not shown up in Inwood yet in 2007

10. Lives in Brooklyn and plays co-ed with his girlfriend Palma (see below) - Inwood is too far

9. Unhappy about the merger with West and that captain C wasn't put on his Jersey
8. Classic Castillo Holdout Strategy - They only miss me when I'm gone
7. Enrolled in Witness Protection Program after losing semi-finals in big apple league - Rosenfishy wants him wacked
6. Retired from softball and now is struggling young artist in Brooklyn painting a Dominican version of the Mona Lisa he hopes to sell to Malecon Restaurant
5. Enrolled in Sunday ESL classes - Beisbol has been berry berry good to me
4. Goes to pickup in Central Park instead so he can torture Jimmy Bitros and his misfit band of insane asylum locos
3. Work on the NFL sidelines as a spy for Bill Belichick and the Patriots.
2. Mad at Rick for making fun of him in 2 summer softball blogs

and the #1 Reason why Castillo has not shown up in Inwood yet in 2007

1. No reason necessary. Castillo is just Castillo. but no matter of you love or hate him Inwood is not the same without him.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Furio was Tony Sopranos leg breaking money collecting muscle on the Sopranos ( See picture ).

In Inwood I'm Blonde's version of Furio.

I go around collecting league fees from customers.

I can be frequently quoted as saying "I want my fucking $$$"

Over the years I have encountered many delinquent accounts.

Here is my list of people who might end up swimming with the Softball fishes.

Top Ten Worse/Slow League Fee payers in Inwood

10. Dio Jackson - Highlanders, Dio is actually a good payer and a cornerstone franchise in the league. He only makes this list b/c he once handed me a 3rd party check from the EMS softball league that I could not cash until November 18 - after the season. Horrible.
9. Hawksquad - when I ask them for money they look at me like I'm a urologist about to stick mu finger up their ass.
8. Bonao Stars - New team. Loco style. Constant double talk. Can't believe a word they say
7. Bobby the ump from Fat Freddy's league in the Bronx - never had a team but back in 01' we had a tournament and he stiffed us $250. We only recovered half and he has been banned from Inwood ever since.
6. Choco - Reds/Canons. When confronted with late dues told me that he knew the law.
"If he couldn't get evicted from his apartment for 90 days then I couldn't throw him out of the league for 90 days."
5. Eddy from the Dirty Dozen - so freaking cheap. Cheapest owner ever in the league. Collecting from him was like getting a root canal from the dentist without Novocaine.
4. Bruckner Bulldogs - paid me $100 in singles in week 7 one year only after they made the playoffs. Ghetto
3. Knockout - hey that was my team?!?!? Collecting league fees. shirt, and ump money from these knuckleheads was like asking a fine girl to pick me up, pay for dinner, pay for the club, pay for drinks, and then later on that night to swallow. Not going to happen
2. Marquel - Dominican Power - Horrible. Beyond loco style. Has made me wait longer than anyone else. To be fair he has improved lately. Does get league respect for showing up to complete a suspended playoff game even though he trailed by an 8-0 score in the 6th.

and by far the #1 Worse/Slow League Fee payers in Inwood

1. Mitch from Chaos - team thankfully now defunct. Had teh nerve to say that I expolit his team. You name it this guy has done it.
Bounced checks.
Said he would meet me and then stood me up.
Made me delay/stop games to make him pay.
Constant phone calls.
I had to take timeout of my life on Friday nights to meet up with him in local bars to collect.
The irony is that he is a collection agent in real life.
I'm so happy he no longer has ateam in the league

Sunday, September 16, 2007

An Unlikely Road to the Championship

They had to forfeit the last week of the regular season b/c they didn't have enough guys.

They were a 5 seed.

There record was only 14-12.

During the playoffs they had guys missing due to other championships.

During the playoffs they had guys leave during games to go to work.

They lost the 1st game in every series only to win the nest two.

They had heart, experience, and despite to go along with talent.

A true champion.

They beat a valiant Diesel squad in round one in game three in extra innings.

They dealt with the Rosenfishy 3PM start controversy by going out and beating John Brown not once, but twice, and sent the evil empire Choice Parts home for the playoffs.

Inexplicably they got shutout in 9 innings in game one of the championship against Contact starter Matty. A pitcher that had no business shutting them down.

In game two, down 6-1 late in game three against the Borg, I mean Contact, they did indeed show that Resistance is not Futile, and rallied to win. A George Colon homer off of Fishman is still going. They never quit.

In game three, West built a 4-0 lead and softball warrior Murphy gave up only one cheap run forced by a dirty hands up slide by Mike Trenk. Softball gods got back at goonish contact by having having a bad runners interference call go against them. Contact, a truly great champion and dynasty, finally had calls go against them and started playing poorly by make bad decision on the bases and throwing the ball around. All good things must come to an end. At least in 07' anyway.

First year in the league and West is already a legend.

Having lost many a close one to them in Inwood.
I already knew that.
It took a merger of two really strong teams in Inwood to finally upset them in 2005.

Congrats to Billy Martin clone manager of the year John "Magneto" Sheppard and their hard nosed talent & resilient crew.

Well done.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Void

One of the big reasons why that has been so successful has been
the existence of the VOID. is arguably the best fall softball season in all of NYC.
The field is nice.
There is spirit.
There is competition.
Hell there is good food and liquor.
But what really makes the league work is that it is a fall league and time is running out on the 2007 Softball season.
Mother nature in the Northeast is a bitch and she shuts down Softball sometime in middle-late November (unless you play in the fall Yorkville league - that's a blog for another day).

Soon there will be NO SOFTBALL and the VOID will begin.

Hell most summer weekday leagues are done and only a few big time summer leagues like RedHook and Central Park are still going (Championships).

This was the first week ( Monday through Friday) since April that I did not have a game.

I felt the softball VOID.

What do I do with myself?

Spend time with my wife?
Go back to the gym?
Span the web for porn?

All very cool things to do, but nothing like playing softball.

The Void.

As John Castillo told me last night "No Tengo nada para hacer" ( I have nothing to do).

The weather is still good, but no games ... yet until fall leagues begin

The VOID!!!!!!!!!!

builds fever and anticipation for your next game.
You treasure every game b/c it might be your last for 4 1/2 months.

Respect the VOID!!!!!!!!!!!

A New Tree Grows in Inwood?

Last year a soap Opera team I played on called Knockout won the CitySoftball Fall League Championship up in Inwood Hill Park.This year we disbanded.
West a four time Inwood champion also disbanded this year.
Times be a changing. Goes to show there is very little loyalty in softball.
So the best thing to do was to make a new team.
Top Ten Things I noticed about our new team in Inwood
10.John "Magneto" Sheppard is the manager!!! How did the leader of the Evil mutants become my boss? Actually he is the right man for the job. Fair. Intense. Experienced. Organized. Uses his cell phone to call players at game time. Collects Money. If you thought Billy Martin, Gabe Paul, Steinbrenner, and Reggie had issues in the Bronx is Burning wait until you 
see Sheppard, Blonde, and Castillo this fall. 9. I looked around and only knew 4 names of people in the starting lineup.
8. Where was the Captain John Castillo? Gilberto filled the captain shoes for the day by leading the team and recruiting new players. Too bad he showed up like 1 hour late. Actually, a stud player showing up late was the only reminder of the 2006 Knockout squad I had all day.
7. Our name is Tread Bike Shop. Eh..? Huh? What? weird

6. No Mama-Juana on the bench - Harrow would be sad . Kabessa did represent with nature and Coors light.
5. Half the team was wearing West jersey's - Angelo, Andy, Geo, El Fumao - Identity crisis
4. At least 4 players on our team do not have a green card and cannot speak or read a word of English. We had Hicks everywhere.
3. We actually collected money for umps. Amazing
2. Chris Gubi, Jose, Harro , Jack - Knockout legends where no where to be found
And the #1 Reasons When I realized we have a new team in Inwood
1. The Tianos had more Knockout players on their team than I did on mine.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Humpty Dumpty

The Softball gods demanded a sacrifice yesterday and West delivered it by defeating a talented but shiestily managed Choice Parts squad yesterday in the Big Apple League.

A big controversy brewed around this series based on the ridiculous late starting time for a best of three series, 3PM on a late summer's day.

West lost the first game and battled back to win two extremely close and exciting games to propel themselves in to the finals. The final out was even recorded in a painful and controversial manner as the ump ruled runner's/batter's interference on a dribbler in front of the plate.

Hey softball is like the NFL, on Any Given Sunday anyone can win.
While an upset, West victory came as no surprise to the insider b/c this is a talented and close knit team has been laying in the weeds all year waiting for this opportunity.

Congrats and Kudos to them

As for the loaded and talented Choice Parts team, I respect them but I obviously have no love for the Evil Empire. The DeathStar has been destryed in 2007. They have some of the most talented and best players in all of the game in Vic, Eric, Mikey, Castillo, Kip and both Brown brother's. They will be back in 08' probably stronger than ever, but 07's is over. Their 2007 best record and season has been broken in more pieces than Humpty Dumpty.

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall;
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses
And all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

Humpty Dumpty
Sentado en un muro.
Humpty Dumpty
Se ha caído muy duro.
Todos los caballeros
Y jinetes del rey,
Fueron a levantarlo
Y no pudieron con él.

Thursday, September 6, 2007


It's the most beautiful time of the Central Park softball year - The Big Apple Softball League Final Four weekend!!!!!!!! HOLLER!!!!!

Too bad I won't be there b/c my team got bumped, but while I'll be in the Meadowlands screaming like crazy for my J-E-T-S!!!! to upset the Patriots, other less notable upsets in the softball world might take place at Hecksher Central Park.

Let's look ahead and see what the insider thinks are the keys to each game.

Working Cedric's, I uh mean Class, vs. Contact - arguably the premier match up of the entire playoffs. This will be a great series. I have friends on both sides and anyone can win. But that's no fun to wrote so let's get into some meaningless analysis by paralysis.

The game is properly starting at 1pm, just in case it goes three - unlike the Evil Empire vs. West game ( message!! )

The prevailing question is can One stud, albeit slinging, pitcher hold down an army of players infatuated with working the count and grinding out a victory.

History tells us NO as Contact has eliminated John Brown in stunning fashion in 3 consecutive seasons.

So Cedric needs help. Will he get it? Perhaps let's see

Working Class Keys to Victory

(1) Get Cedric there on time - or at least delay for him to get there - rumor has it he won't start game one - that's a mistake. Bob is crafty and a warrior but he is clearly their #2 starter
(2) Hit with men on bases. Against Gallagher's, Working class struggled mightily in this area - Contact's pitching is average. Working class will have there chances - can they cash them in? That depends on #3
(3) Working Class's Top of the Lineup must produce - when Chucky and Mark hit they score - If not it could be long frustrating double play afternoon
. The middle and bottom of Working Class lineup is solid and will do OK but they will only win if the top four hit. If they struggle runs will be impossible to come by against the softball version of the Borg, Contact
(4) Base running. Against Gallagher's Working Class had numerous guys thrown out all over the field. Contact throws behind runners constantly, picks guys off (including embarrassingly me at 3rd with 1 out), and never experiences a Kodak moment - they don't stand around and watch - they exploit runners who are not alert. Working Class need to have good coaching on the bases.

(1) HIT!!!!!!!!!!! - If they get to 5 runs in any game they will win - their defense is that good
(2) Defense - duh - just be Contact
(3) Jack Steinman - notorious clutch hitter - If I was managing I could I would try to pitch around him in key spots. Plus he reads this so I will throw his name in this analysis. If he loses at least he will be at Inwood one week earlier this fall.
(4) Taking pitches - Will this be the week they take too many pitches?

Prediction : Game One starts at 1:20 after Mark and Marty delay start for Cedric and between the intense play and Marc and Marty arguing with the umps all day Game Three ends at 7PM.

Game One Contact 3-2. - Underrated Matty on Contact wins pitcher duel

Game Two - There is no Tomorrow - Cedric throws again as Marty/Mark are forced to pass on Bob. Actually that's probably why they are considering not starting Bob in game one - to avoid pitching Cedric in three straight games and at the same time not diss steady and reliable Bob. Anyway, I say Working Class wins 6-1. Cedric beats Fishman, Fishman removed by Patty in the 4th inning for the slinger with the funny socks b/c Patty found out that Showtime has just fired Fishman b/c he looks too much like horrible boxing analyst Larry Merchant.

Game Three - A classic. EL Pitcher de Wa Wa, Cedric, throws again - 3 games in one day for Cedric takes his toll (yeah right) as he allows like 2 hits in game three - all to Steinman - Contact wins as Jack slaps game winning single past Mark at SS who strains a disc in his lower back reaching for the shot. Marty and Mark ejected for arguing with the umpire about why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

Speaking of West.....

In the other Semi-Final Match up

West vs. the Wait for Brown Parts at 3PM (nice start time for a 3 game series - I know it's overkill but hey why not)

Choice Parts Key
(1) Brown does not get mugged, hurt, or worn out in the morning while pitching in Red Hook Brooklyn for Clemente
(2) Rosenmiiler manipulates rules and umps to his advantage - will happen at one point
(3) CASTILLO - POWER ON? POWER OFF? - against old nemesis West the POWER WILL BE ON MAXIMUM
(4) The other Brown - Eddie Brown is a stud hitter with power to all fields - very important hitter in the Parts lineup

West Keys
(1) Murphy - say what you want but he is a playoff pitcher and winner - He will show up now that hi sbronx playoffs are over. He needs to lock down Vic - if he is on base for Castillo, Kip and Brown that's bad news
(2) Kill sidearm Doc - winning the non-John Brown pitched game is crucial. Castillo will only pitcher on parts in case of an emergency.
(3) Defense - That's how Contact beats fly ball hitting parts. Hector, Dino, and crew need to have big games
(4) Fuck it hit John Brown - they have too - if not it's Inwood on Sept 16th - oh my bad maybe game three will be that day

(5) Will Carlos Con pitch sling? Probably not, but it is an option and a weapon against Brown's slinging


Game One - Prideful West players like Colon. Meyers, and Angelo will not simply give up or in to Parts - I see a 4-2 Parts win in the opener with Murphy threatening to kill an ump. You will know if West i sdone if you see GEorge Colon not run out grounders or fly outs.

Game Two - With the skies darkening West hangs in long enough as the bats wake up to post a wild 9-8 win. Last out recorded on a controversial trap catch that no one could see in the darkness.

Game Three - not started Rick writes another obnoxious blog

Good Luck everyone