Saturday, October 27, 2007


For the last several seasons I have played in a weekday fall softball league called
Yorkville Sports Association.

Yorkville is not a league, rather it is a business. In fact it is a rip off.
Hence, the name YorkOff!
Unfortunately, it is a business that is not yet regulated by the better business bureau.
Leagues, like people, are not perfect, but this association operates under the veil of a monopoly as they control numerous fields throughout the city. More often than not, they do what and when they want at the expense
of player safety and fair competitive play all in the name of $$$$$$$$$!!!!!!

Here are some examples of poor service:

(1) Umpires
It's hard to get good reliable umps in any league, but in this league the umps are in on the hustle. Bases are placed at major league distances so as to speed up the game.
The umps care more about hurrying a game rather than having a good game.
Yorkville umpires strikes zone are notoriously wider than the grand canyon.
Rarely do umps cancel games due to weather or poor field conditions. Safety comes last.

(2) Field Quality.
While it's not Yorkville's fault that 54th street field is the worst field in the city (it will be redone into turf this winter) it has been called "Donde Caga La Vaca" ( Where the cows shit).
It is their fault that games have been played with puddles the size of the Atlantic everywhere and with several banks of lights out that make seeing the ball a task that only Bugs Bunny could accomplish. Their idea of working on the field is having the president of the league drive around the field with a rake or broom tied to the back of his 4X4 pickup truck or SUV. Pathetic

(3) Player safety.
Recently on a day when the field (especially home plate and 3rd base) was covered with puddles they played a co-ed game where the batters box started at the mound and the pitcher threw from 2nd base. Ridiculous and dangerous.

(4) Games Times
This is there schedule (in blue)

Yorkville Fall League
- coed games use earlier slots and men's are later
Coed - 6:00 earliest
- 7:30 latest
- And any time in between

Men's - 7:30 earliest
- 9:00 latest
- And any time in between
* Sorry We Do Not Accept Requests For Game Times *

Our Fall League is Monday - Thursday. Teams may pick 2 days of the week they would like to play on and Yorkville will attempt to schedule all regular season games on 1 of your 2 choices. Playoffs and rescheduled games may not be on your chosen day.

Games per week

1 game per week
1 bye week per season (this means you will not play 1 week due to odd # of teams)
You may see additional games per week or double headers depending on cancellations due to rain outs etc.

What strikes me is the following:
  1. I love the "We Do Not Accept Requests For Game Times" policy.
  2. 9pm games in 30 degree weather? Are you fing kidding me? 9pm start is too late anyway.
  3. Bye weeks? It's a six game fall season why do you need byes? B/C of the odd # of teams? That means they are like the airlines that get greedy and over book flights, I mean teams, and the consumer misses out a chance to play in the good weather and is stuck with playing in the brutal cold.

(5) Cost.


To play in Yorkville Fall League as a team it is $870.00 for the season.

That's $145 a game for a 6 game season. That's quite a hustle

(6) Payouts


6 regular season games, officials for the game, permits for the fields the team plays on, playoffs for the top 4 teams, and $1,000.00 cash prize to the league champion.

You can make only $130 (1,000 - 870) if you win the whole thing?!?!? That's a joke.
More importantly, the playoff structure is NCAA Basketball style single elimination tournament. Single elimination in softball? One and done. Not much value there.

Finally, the only reason I play in this league is that my manager's business sponsors our team. I would never pay a penny to play in this league and neither should you.
Next year the league will probably be better thanks to the new field. As mentioned above, no league is perfect, but in this league you seem to get very little value for you investment of time and money.

Softball Zagat Rating - One Star - Avoid if possible

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Pinch Hitting

Today I was pinch hit for.
No one likes to get pinch hit for.
But that's a pride and ego thing.
The more important question to ask is when is it the right time to pinch hit for someone.

Top Ten Pinch Hitting Manual for Managers

10. You batter is an absolute sure out. I mean someone who has only 2 chances of getting a hit - slim and none. He's got to go.
9. Your PH is a significant upgrade for your current hitter. If PH a motivated player go for it
8. Your current batter is drunk, high and useless - dead weight has got to go.
7. Never pinch hit someone who is cold, high, and out of it. 99% of the time it's a waste.
6. Reputation should never matter. Only production matters. People like to talk. Talk is cheap
5. Always pinch hit for someone who doesn't want to hit and is afraid. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
4. The situation. What do you need ? A HR? A sac fly? Move the runner over? Use the guy who has the best chance to get the job done.
3. Never listen to people who show no loyalty to you and fuck over players who have been loyal to you. It's not worth it. Don't sell out b/c they want you to make moves.
2. If a good hitter has shows up late use him once you think he is ready. Never go to war without using all your bullets.

and the #1 Pinch Hitting Manual for Managers

1. PH is overrated. Mangers who like to PH are usually desperate or power tripping. Focus more on putting your starters in the best position o win and worry about PH later.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

WALK OFF!!!!!!!!!!

Today Elvis hit a two strike, two out, two run homer in the bottom of the 10th to give us (The Cardinals) the win in the first game of a best of three series.

Elvis is without a doubt one of the best players in all of softball. Much props to his clutch blast.

Is there a more exciting play in sofball than a walk off homer?

Top Ten Things that make a walk off homer so special.

10. They are so rare and memorable
9. The finality of it. There is no get them next time. The game is over.
8. The drama.
7. Performance under pressure against good competition.
6. The thrill
5. The pile on at home plate, Man the batter gets fucked up
4. We all dream about it
3. The wonderful memory it gives you
2. The after party. Time to drink. smoke, and be merry

and he #1 Things hat make a walk off homer so special.

1. It's a special thing exclusive to baseball where the winning team acts like they are nine years old while at the same time it breaks the valiant losers heart.

Friday, October 19, 2007


The picture above is of Jose Carrion during Knockout's 2006 celebration party!!! Jose passed out that night, after messing up everyone' high

Jose is one of the funniest, talented, and most dangerous (to both his team and opponents) players in all of Softball. Yet Jose hasn't been seen in weeks. TBS could sure use him.

So the question must be asked " Where is Jose?"

Top Ten Reasons why Jose hasn't been showing up to Inwood

10. Drive from his Connecticut home is simply too far
9. He loves drama will return for the playoffs
8. Works for Bacardi family now. Passed out like in the picture on a daily basis now
7. Family Guy - signed by the WB network to film a modern version of Leave it to Beaver
6. Jose knows he can't top George Colon's ump rage outburst from a few weeks ago so he stays home and sulks
5. Plays Softball in Connecticut with white guys that call him Joe and think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Little do they know.
4. Thinking of new ways to make simple throws more complicated and life threatening for 1st baseman
3. Doesn't smoke anymore and doesn't want to be around temptation
Starting career as porn director specializing in African American heavy weight beauty's

and the #1 Reasons why Jose hasn't been showing up to Inwood

I wish I knew - we could use him

Thursday, October 18, 2007

MailBag: Replies to Comments

Any comment is a good comment.At least it means people are reading.Keep all your comments coming.I read them all. Even the ones that diss me. Hey if I can dish it out it's only fair I take it as well.So let's look at some recent comments in the mailbag.

Comment #1
Anonymous said...

Ricky, Why don't you spend your time covering the softball aspect of this site, instead of trying to be funny and insulting teams with your comments, considering you suck.
Furthermore, I would pay closer attention to the loss of integrity that seems to be happening with this league every passing year. Lastly, looch should not be eating PASTELES at 9:45am under the tree while he has an inexperienced ump officiating one of the biggest series of the year. This should narrow down for you who may be writing this. Signed, May no meats be safe

Ricky Response:

Dear Mr. May no meats be safe (hilarious !!)

This comment was very well written and has lot different points that I will address.
First of all, I totally agree with your point that a more experienced umpire crew was needed for the HighLander-TBS match up last week. The calls would have been more decisive and an experienced crew would have nipped all the goonish trash talking that went on from both sides in the bud. Luckily the better team, The Highlanders, won and made this a moot point. However, I strongly disagree with your loss of integrity comment. The ump decision last week was made by Looch, not the league. Moreover, we do our very best to have very competitive match ups week in and week out and eliminate illegal players and pitchers. We have set an example of fair play by suspending one of our best players 4 games for unacceotable behavior and banning another pitcher from our roster from throwing. Thirdly, thank you for letting the softball world know I suck. Teams have stopped offering me money to bat last and play catcher for them. More importantly, is not about me dissing other teams or trying to be funny. It's about softball, life, and one man's experiences and opinions. However, I do love your idea about focusing more on the softball aspect of the site, but since I suck I am not qualified to offer instruction. Luckily I do know who is qualified. If you want to become a better hitter go to Inwood this sunday and watch the Highlanders cleanup batter Anthony hit (see picture below. it looks like Anthony my apologies if it is not. In any case this is a beutiful swing). He's a big reason why the Highlanders are a heavy favorite to win their second citysoftball title in three years.


Comment #2- from Dio Jackson - Manager and exalted ruler of Highlander Nation

So now you want to call out my team and say we are fools....
Rick, I really don't know what's going on or why you have so much hate for us. But seriously you need to chill out.You're getting a little too personal.
Your instigating this situation and it's gonna get worse.
You lost last week, accept it and move on. When you beat us for the chip last year we congratulated your team and it was all good. I handed over The Inwood Championship Belt.I know jealousy is a BITCH but you don't have to act like one when you lose.

See you at Inwood.

Rick Response:

For the record I would like to state that the Highlanders are one of the best teams in NYC softball. As a former Highlander player, I have no jealousy toward the players, manager, and the entire HI Nation. Last week both the Highlanders and TBS talked way too much trash and it became ugly, embarrassing, and goonish at Inwood. In my last blog the comment "only fools argue with fools" meant that I will never be involved in any form of trash talking b/c everyone looks bad when trash talking goes on/
End of subject.
Comment #3

Anonymous said...

BTW can someone please tell me what the "C" on Johnny's shirt signifies?????

Rick Response:

It's going to be interesting to C, I mean see, how Castillo reacts to all this bashing and the TBS losing streak. Will it be power on or power off? Besides the return of 4 or 5 missing key players , TBS could sure use some Castillo power on right now to quiet all the critics and score some runs.

Comment #4
Anonymous said...

Rick.... the only way you get people to look at your bullshit is at the expense of castillo. leave the guy alone.... without him you were just an unknown scrub in the bench..

Rick Response:

Comment #5

Anonymous said...
Get a job u bum

Rick Response:

Dear No Name:

The way the sub-prime market is going, I will need to get a job soon.
Layoffs will happen. Time to ump.

Comment #6

Blondie & Rick, you guys are doing a great deed that goes unappreciated. It's a thankless job but many of us do it because we love the game. Unfortunately, in doing so we end up losing money.

Have a great fall season!!!!

Central Park Softball League
Rick Response:

Thanks Steve. But why haven't you showed up and pitched for the Gator Club this season, they finished 1-13 without you bro. We would never ban you!!!!!!


Sunday, October 14, 2007

Top Ten I Will Not

Everyone wants to know why I haven't been blogging lately.

First they hate the blog, now they want the blog.

It's all good.

The blog has become like Desperate Housewives - Americas's favorite little secret

Top Ten Softball Topics I will not Blog About

10. Tread Bike Shop Losing Streak - We Shall Overcome!!!!!!
9. Highlanders - Very good team - but it's like Jay-z said "One should never argue with fools b/c from a distance people can't tell who is who "
8. Banned Slinger Pitchers in Citysoftball league by cheating teams - It's a hard job staying on top of all the illegal pitching, we make our mistakes, but at least we try and address it and don't act like officer Bar Brady from South Park "Nothing to see here people nothing to see"

7. Mario's Saturday Softball league at 12oth and 2nd Ave - this league is ghetto and loco style - It's like an amusement park fun and life threatening at the same time
6. Inwood Umpires - I love Luch - we eats too many pastels - but I hate blaming umps. In fact we support our umps we suspended one of our best players 4 games for improper behavior.
5. $$$$$ - Citysoftball is a non for profit institution except for Chelo he's rich
4. Dominican Power Softball Team - talented but problematic
3. Weed and Softball - Most people say that Baseball and Apple Pie go hand in hand, In softball Weed and Softball go hand in hand. I don't smoke so I'm not qualified to elaborate.
2. Statistics - Softball statistics are useless. A 444 bating average doesn't tell you anything. Just watch it will tell you who is hitting consistently and playing good defense. It's all about everyone playing in the position that gives the team the best chance to win. You can't win if your 8th hitter is hitting 4th and your catcher is playing SS. Everyone has to be there playing together. Anything else sucks.

and the #1 Softball Topics I will not Blog About

1. Next Season - Next year is irrelevant.
Now will never come again. Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

Monday, October 8, 2007

QUALIFY - an ugly word

Every Stud player loves the word QUALIFY.

It's the minimum number of games you need to play in the regular season to become eligible for the playoffs. I swear to god one day I will manage a team called QUALIFY.

I can here the chat now 1-2-3 QUALIFY!!!!!!!!

Top Ten Things I FUCKING HATE about the word Qualify in Softball

10. Most stud players ask "WHO WE PLAYING???" when you tell them about a game. If the caliber of opponent is not to their likely they skip the game and tell you they qualify for the playoffs anyway. Thanks buddy - leaves a manager searching for forfeit avoiders and fucked.
9. After a bad loss people don't show up until playoffs.
8. In Spanish the word to describe people who ask if they "Qualify" is "Se prive" - they think they are privilege. Stud players think they are like fine Maxim girl models who have half the money and all the pussy. In other words, serious POWER TRIPPING !!!
7. Shows low character - In other words. ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!! - only care about themselves
6. Shows that when the going gets tough the tough just want to qualify. Asshole again
5. Much like regular society people don't want to give commit to something, they would rather do things shiesty style and through the backdoor.
4. Qualify really means sneak me onto your roster, Then in the playoffs bench a guy who has been playing well, but isn't as good as me so that you will have a chance to win it all. This work about 33% of the time. It's a crap shoot. Depending if your team accepts the wringer. Especially a pitcher. In other words. it's shiesty and makes a manger look bad with his regulars if he fails.
3. Very bad for team chemistry - IF your wringer is an asshole he better be perfect. Baseball/Softball is a game of imperfection. Possible, but difficult, works better in a ghetto environment where anything goes.
2. Makes a mockery of the regular season. Why don't we just start the playoffs immediately. Fuck the schedule. Just sneak a slinger or stud on your roster. It's shows that human nature is corrupt.

and the #1 Things I FUCKING HATE about the word Qualify in Softball

1. Selfish HIRED GUN Mentality- Aren't you playing together? With you "Friends" Like the Black Eyed Peas song Where is the love???

Friday, October 5, 2007

The Blog is Back: The Collapse

After tending to some serious off the field issues last week, I'm back and before I get back to softball I would be remiss if I didn't Top Ten about the collapse of my beloved NY Mutts, I mean Mets

Top Ten Reasons the Mets Collapsed

10. Who fucking cares!!!!! Mets shot their load 21 years ago when Buckner misplayed that grounder "BEHIND THE BAG!!!!!" I love them, but they are cursed.
9. The Pitching - obvious
8. Willie Randolph planted by the Evil Empire as a double agent. He's a target for goon Met fans to blame and for blind Yankee fans to defend. Truth is his pitching gave out and he was helpless and ran into bad luck, almost like Ricky on Gallagher's Except Gallagher's made the playoffs
7. Omar Minaya - a spic run the team? Next year demoted to bar back in the diamond club.
6. Give goon Yankee fans a pleasant diversion from there team getting possibly getting swept in the playoffs. Arod fantasy player playoff ghost
5. Met pitchers not allowed to sling after MLB umps read
4. Reyes slump began after Mets 5th meringue night - too much Tony Rosario will do that
3. David Wright throws like Rick
2. Even with absolutely no pitching Philly was better

and the #1 Reason the Mets Collapsed

1. Curse of the ETS continues - Mets and Jet fans are destined to suffer