Wednesday, April 27, 2011

People's Champ Belt = Pie in Face = Mojo? We'll see

After a cold, bitter, & pathetic ending to last season, the Lawyertime "LT" softball team of the league is looking to reestablish it's Mojo. Taking a cue from the Yankee fun/exciting post game pie celebrations
team leader Anthony "The People's Champ" Peterson has come up with "The LT's People's Championship Player of the Game Belt" for the 11' season. This week's winner is Kenny "The Flash" Walsh
who had a very strong offensive performance in LT's latest victory. Kenny has been asking me how can he get on the blog for a while now, but as everyone knows that if you ask to be on the blog you won't get on it. Kenny's excellent offensive performance is to be commended but the real reason he made the SB editorial cut was b/c I finally got a picture of him wearing his hilarious Trailer Park Miller Lite beer hat. That hat is so blog worthy.

The insider would like to commend Anthony and team manager Lou "22" Gonzalez for trying to change things up this year. It's a long season, so hopefully the Belt will be part of the new mojo around the team and lead to some Championship pie.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Softball Diary April 26th, 2011

Today I am starting a new segment called "Softball Diary". It will be a log of some of the softball experiences I encounter.

April 26th, 2011
Dear Softball Diary:
Today I didn't play. I umpired in Red Hook Brooklyn. Unfortunately, I didn't have the car today so I had a Cardinal Spellman High School flashback and rode multiple trains
including the G train (1st time ever in NYC) to Smith and 9th in Red Hook BKNY (damn that was the highest (3 levels) train station I have ever been in). Once I got to the infamous Red Hook Area what I found was yuppies taking Kick Boxing lessons
(bad picture I know sorry - but take my word on it) and luxury brownstones so the ten minute walk to the ballpark was a piece of cake.

The game I officiated was a bullshit co-ed game - really easy money, but there were some unique softball tidbits that were worth noting:
  1. When I got there, one team informed me they only had 1 girl and would take 2 automatic outs. Moreover, they only had 8 players overall. I thought to myself easy sure fire mercy. Well, the team with only one girl (good player/hitter) won easily 22-7.
  2. Speaking of the winning team, I knew it was there day when their opponent hit a blooper between the pitcher and catcher that no one caught and the pitcher yelled "Let it Go Foul". The catcher in his infinite skill and wisdom reached for the ball in fair territory with his catching mask. Lo and behold, the ball got stuck in his mask and the pitcher, who happened to be the young lady I mentioned above, grabbed the ball from his mask and fired to 1st for the out. Just like they practiced it. Jesus
  3. Later on, the game ball was hit way out of play, so I asked a guy in the dugout to throw me a new ball. He threw me the hardest Flintstones rock baseball style softball on earth. I said "Really?" "Really?" "Really?"Later in the game he took a borderline 3-2 pitch with a 15 run lead and I rang him up. He deserved it on so many levels. Really
  4. Leading 22-7 in the 7th, some guy with ridiculous Elvis sideburns and Buddy Holly glasses asked me to enforce the mercy rule b/c the other team might come back and win b/c his team only had 8 players. I couldn't even grasp the obsession with petty rules he was tripping on so I told him to get back out there. Of course the softball gods punished him as he dropped a easy OF pop up with two outs in the 7th. Always
  5. The losing team was my old company JPMChase. They lost to 7 guys, 1 talented young lady, 2 automatic ghost outs in their lineup. My god My god
OK Softball Diary, gotta go now and renew my May school train pass, I uh mean Metro Card.

SB Simon & Garfunkel

For this summer at least the creators of NYC best fall softball league
have gone the Simon & Garfunkel route
and broken up. As previewed earlier this month, , the Jersey City Weeknight Softball League is off and running as last night was our opening night at Mary Benson Park
(this picture does not do this very cool field justice)
My team West NY squared off against Fiserv to usher in a new softball beginning for me. This league is a tremendous softball growth opportunity, but I would be lying that it was strange running a league without my partner there. While Juan is actually on the team (he ditched me last night - thank god as you will see later), but he's just consultant in this across the river venture. That solo reality hit my yesterday on the following fronts:
  1. Weather Issues
  2. Multiple new teams wanting to join at the last minute - *** good promising stuff ***
  3. Light issues - they better turn on for the 8pm start. They did - whew
  4. Field Maintenance issues - at 4pm I bought a broom in ghetto ass pharmacy in Jersey City and scraped water out of the home plate area. Ugly but effective.
  5. Current League Member Questions - The customer always comes 1st
  6. Buying League Equipment at Peligro in Washington Heights - Keep it Real
  7. Carrying Shit to the Field - balls, masks, books, etc - sucks
  8. Traffic - always sucks
  9. Phone calls and text messages galore - sucks
  10. Paying officials and insurance - a necessity
  11. Managing my team - of course my pen ran out - annoying. I had like 20 players show up which is awesome b/c you can never really over recruit. But getting them all in the game was challenging, but I have to give them all mad love b/c they were so cool about it.
While I've had amazing help from head umpire Pat Ryan and the Jersey City Park's department, this is still pretty much a one man show. It was overwhelming at times, but it was a good beginning as everyone was very happy with the direction of the league. However, I must admit that perhaps breaking up the band isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

P.S. I would like to thank original NY West manager and lead SBI analyst John Sheppard for allowing me to use the West NY name.

I promise to make you proud Sheppy

Monday, April 25, 2011

If The City Builds it, They Will Come

Special SBI in the field reporter Michael "The Wizard" Peckinshas provided us with exclusive never before seen aerial footage pictures of the construction and resurfacing of the new turf field in Chelsea at 28th street and 10th Avenue
The outdated and dangerous artificial turf there was badly in need of replacement and its good to see tax dollars spent on softball. Soon they many enthusiastic and competitive leagues who once played there will return to get there neighborhood swerve on.

Again Mike thanks for the update

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Are you living in SB Oceania?

was a book we all HAD to read in High school, even though we didn't want to. Back then we all had to write a book report or take a test on it, but we were all probably too young (I was anyway) to understand what it really meant in society, politics, and Softball (nice connection between some pretty unrelated yet related topics).

George Orwell's brilliant novel's effect on the English language is extensive; as concepts such as
have all become common phrases for denoting totalitarian authority. A major theme of the book is Censorship, which is displayed especially in the Ministry of Truth, where photographs are doctored and public archives rewritten to rid them of "unpersons". Lies becomes Truths and Truths become Lies. It's all fucked up, not a fun place to live.

Speaking of places to live, 1984 all takes place in Oceania,
one of three super-states that was divided after a global war.
The Party leader,Big Brother rules the people and always reminds them that
"BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU" on the telescreen. Oh yeah, everyone's crib has a two-way TV called a telescreen that spies on you 24/7 so you have no real privacy.This surveillance allows for control of the citizenry where even the smallest sign of rebellion, can result in immediate arrest/imprisonment.Translation: Your fucked if you go against the Man

The social class system is threefold:
  1. The upper-class Inner Party,
  2. The middle-class Outer Party, and
  3. The lower-class Proles (from Proletariat), who make up 85% of the population and represent the working class.

Crazy how only a few evil bastards control everyone. The Party controls the population via four government ministries that are all contradictions and means of manipulation :
  1. Ministry of Peace - which is really all about War
  2. Ministry of Plenty - in reality their Isn't Enough to go around and they lie about it
  3. Ministry of Love - is all about promoting Hate
  4. Ministry of Truth - is all about Lies
In the book, the goverment's vision of the future is :

"There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always—do not forget this, - always there will be the Intoxication of Power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever.

That's some grim evil shit as inhabitants of this world can't seem to mount a resistance and all share a sense of Betrayed Revolution

Does any of this sound like the people running your softball league? If so, ask yourself is rebellion possible? B/c softball Oceania can come crashing down if you are willinging to Take A Stand against Big Softball Brother.

Fallen on My Softball Sword

In my previous posting,, I poked fun at the numerous people who called me in an obvious early Sunday morning rain out scenario. Please know that while I will always directly go after softball people and organization that are blatantly evil, wrong, and corrupt, I would aslo NEVER intentionally write anything mean spirited or disrespectful to throw anyone under the bus. If anyone was offended by this posting, I deeply and sincerely apologize as I have fallen on my softball sword. I appreciate your readership and friendship and hope we can all go out there and just Play Ball!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - oops I have to apologize for that as well b/c we can't b/c it's raining again today.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Softball WeatherMan - Raise the Red Flag

Last Saturday night it poured like the end of the world and when Sunday morning dawned people seemed to confuse me for a softball weatherman. Now while Al Roker and I have slimmed down a bit, we will never be confused as hot weather reporters like the naughty Karla Luna

(gotta love the who cares what I'm saying I'm taking off my clothes attitude)

Yet between 7:30 and 9:30 Am I received numerous calls and text messages regarding the Sunday central park field status.

Here are some accounts:

Call #1
7:45 am Charles Salzberg - manager Westies
Charles quote "Ricky We have to go the to the field b/c the other team's manager cannot contact his team:
Ricky : This reminds me of years ago when on a rainy day crazy Willie Ferrer asked me "If I had called the Astros (other team)". I was thinking Huh? Who gives a fuck about the other team?!!! Anyway, I asked Charles to go to the field and let me know if games were on.
Solution: Wait till 8:30 and go back to bed b/c games were off.

Text 7:40 Am
Ralph Serrano - Player Westies & Rangers - All day Sunday : "Is the game on?"
Rick Response "I'm waiting home till 8:30am till Charles goes to field and he becomes one with the universe and cancels all the games"
Ralph Response "OK"

Phone Call #2 7:45 AM
David Nelkin - Sunday Morning Player and Sunday Afternoon Big Apple Manager
David" Hi Ricky are games on?"
Ricky Response "I'm waiting (and thinking how the fuck did you get my number????)"
David response :"Wanna call me back"
Ricky Response "Not really"

Phone Call #3: 8:00 AM
West Manager and lead softball insider analyst John Sheppard

Ricky Response" Let me call Big Apple Commissioner Jeff Marcus and get back to you

Next I called Jeff Marcus and he said

Ricky Response " "

Next Call 8:30 Am
Jimmy Bitros - manager Rangers

Ricky Response "I will be there"

In addition, I received other numerous text messages and emails. Needless to say I just got too many fucking weather calls too early in the day. So next time the weather is iffy I am doing like the fields and putting up a Red Flag and close up shop.

Monday, April 18, 2011

A Reason for Softball Players to shave

A lot of softball players don't shave, but I bet if they had to do a commercial with Carmen Electra they would.

Chicks dig the long ball and avid central park player David Scott Cohen has always been a power hitting threat. Now it seems he is also enjoying professional acting success. The insider congratulates the man that I fondly refer to as Softball's Richard Alpert.(google Richard's unique "gift" to understand why he and Dave have a lot in common)

Cool Stuff

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A96 Hustle Hard

Hustle is a must in softball and life above 96th (A96) so I can think of no better team name than for an East Harlem Sports League. The field is on East 128th and 3rd Ave and is all turf but has some holes but overall is very cool and fun to play on. Speaking of holes, their site (lower your volume) needs some help. Perhaps they could use an upgrade style.
Commissioner Mario (pictured with son below) has a hustling old and new school crew with heavy hitters

(funny ghetto A96 bat)

One hitter who is a little less heavy, but hustling more than ever, is lefty power man Berg Reyes who has lost over 30 pounds and looks great Much props to this on and off field Hustler for his accomplishment.

In true A96 style, Mario motivates his team by playing music on large speakers as the game is going on

Now that is A96 to the fullest - love it!!

Ace Hood, Lil Wayne, and Rick Ross would be proud. Always Hustle Hard!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Day at the Dentist

As previewed earlier this week Sunday was a big rivalry match up between the Rangers and Working Class the results were:

Rangers 15 Working Class 0

Ranger 8 Working Class 1

Needless to say it was a Day at the Dentist

for Working so called "Class". As they took another of MY playersbut it's all good b/c as softball Yoda taught me

" You just got to do it yourself"

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Under the Radar Classification Rivalry Highlights The Big Apple 2011 Season Opener

This Sunday, April 10th, 2011, is the Big Apple Softball League's opening day
and it features 6 very compelling match-ups :
1. A reloaded 2007 Champion West vs a competitive Gotham team

2. Central Park dynasty Lucky's(Contact) vs a talented and maturing Empire squad
3. 2009 Runner Up Finish (these guys get good sponsors) vs. the improved Bombers
3Peat Champion Choice Parts vs always tough Brother Jimmy's
5. Surprising 2010 Playoff qualifier Revolution vs 201
0 Runner Up O'Hanlons

Revolution has recruited Hired Gunn Rudy Robinson to be part of their management structure so you know what that means

6. And finally, in the prime 3pm hangout time slot, the best under the radar rivalry in the league pitts 2010 Division Champion Diesel vs Working Class "WC"

A rivalry can manifest itself based on geography, common divisional opponent, physical confrontations, bragging rights, or just good old fashion hate. While you might not know it on the surface the heated Diesel - WC rivalry is very real. It based on the mantra "hell hath No Fury like an ex-ball player scorned" as both teams currently have many players on their squad that used to play for the other side.

Not only does familiarity breed contempt, but so does the ruthless world of recruiting as both teams have gone head to head over
trying to recruit similar players. So far this year Working Class has won the recruiting battle, but the on the field war has not yet been decided. Legendary Working Class manager Marty is pumped for this season

Ironically, WC finds itself in 2011 where Diesel found itself in 2010, looking to go from out of the playoffs to a contender and with returning impact players plus upgrades they will likely be playing for much more than pride in 2011.

welcomes, embraces, and considers their challenge a privilege. We don't trash talk, we don't steal players, we don't whine and complain to umps and make excuses. We just play. True Class will be revealed on Sunday.
CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!