Sunday, June 7, 2009

Softball Spelling Bee

I've been hitting so bad lately that I probably couldn't even spell the word HIT, much less actually hit the ball hard.

More importantly, in the real world Spelling (and thank god spell check) is much more important than hitting so while most softball players don't have the vocabulary that Scripps 2008 National Spelling Bee Champion Kavya Shivashankar has

I can't help but wonder how most softball players I know would do in a spelling competition.

We need a tough softball word to spell. How about a player's name , let's start with the reigning Big Apple MVP and Choice Parts very own Eric Zabarkus.

Top Ten Spelling Bee Softball contest trying to spell and use Eric Zabarkus in a sentence.

10. Vladimir - pro wrestling #1 fan and Diesel pitcher.
Spelling : Z-A-B-A-K-U-S - close but no cigar Sentence : I like Erix ZABAKUS b/c he is not a cheater like Jimmy Bitros.
Judges : Judges disqualify Vlad for wearing horrible skin tight shirt.

9. Rick "Mr Top Ten"
Spelling : K-N-O-C-K-O-U-T
Sentence : Can Eric play on Knockout?
Judges : Throw Ricky out and tell him to hire a batting coach.

8. Alfredo - El Loco pickup player
Spelling : Z-E-B-U-T-H-A - nothing I write can come close to mimicking this guy's deep spanish accent
Sentence : "Eric Z-E-B-U-T-H-A" es una vaca (Alfredo loves the word vaca - which in Spanish means cow)
Judges: Alfredo disqualified on the grounds no one understands him

7. Aaron - Hell Kitchen/Knockout
Spelling : H-E-N-N-E-S-Y
Sentence : Eric is cool but who has my bottle of Hennesy?
Judges : Aaron fails SUI test - Spelling Under Influence test and is eliminated from the competition

6. Issac "Gubi " Delgado
Spelling : Z-A-R-B-K-R-A-S
Sentence : Eric Z-A-R-B-K-R-A-S is a good player but I'm much betta!!!!
Judges : Disqualified for being a clown

5. Charlie - umpire from Pickup
Spelling : Z-a-b-a-r-k-u-s - CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!
Sentence : I don't know why Rosenmiller plays Zabarkus over me! I'm the Rally Man !!!!!!!
Judges : Disqualify him for being disillusional

4. Chelo - groundskeeper Inwood
Spelling : Z
Sentence : Z
Judges : too confused to render judgement

3. Edgar Sr.
Spelling : Z-a-b-a-r-k-u-s - excellent!!!!!!!!
Sentence "I was so much better than that Zebra kid"
Judges " Disqualified for evil heckling

2. Nellie - central park older stud player
Spelling & Sentence - falls asleep during contest, but wakes up in time to single up the middle
Judges : Disqualified for sleeping

and the Number One Spelling Bee Softball contestant trying to spell and use Eric Zabarkus in a sentence.

1, John Rosenmiller
Spelling Z-a-b-a-r-k-u-s
Sentence - "Mickey Peckins and Eric Zabarkus are on my team"
Judges : We have a winner!!!!!!!!


  1. "Zabarkus" is actually a Greek word meaning "complete player."

  2. Leaving hells kitchen made him a better player and person.

  3. That is even funnier.