Let's explore Softball Vantage Points
Commissioner Vantage Point
Scenario #1 If the weather is questionable : When do I call the games? If I call the games too early or late people will be mad at me and more importantly I don't want to all games b/c my permit is running out.
Scenario #2 : Good weather : Walk around and look at league and ask Is it competitive & Enthusiastic? Are teams bringing wringers? Are there illegal pitchers? Are my umpires doing a good job? What is my profit? Why am I dealing with this bullshit? pretend to be a dummy (Harte El bobo) when people ask you tough questions. DENY DENY DENY
Umpire Vantage Point - Lets get this game over as smooth/quick as possible so I can get out of dodge with my money ... I hate that asshole b/c he bitches too much I ain't giving him shit ... I run the ship everyone here mAy not like me but they will respect me .. My mom did not name me Blue
Manager Vantage Point - 3 points of view
Scenario #1 Before the game : Who the fuck is here? I better get on the phone
Scenario #2 : During Game : Do everything you can to win the game and be fair to my guys.
Scenario #3 After Game : If you win it's all good, if you lose you hate the world and feel like a sucker who is spending money for nothing.
1st Base Coach Vantage Point
Remind runners how many outs there are, what the the count is, and where the OF's are playing ... yell STAY OR GO!!!!!!.. argue close plays at 1st and work the day dreaming base umpire for a call .... day dream about whether to Oder Chinese or Italian food for dinner .. be awake when Lefty's are up so that you don't get hit .. remind the catcher where the 1st baseman is to avoid pick offs .. think how much you wait coaching and wish you were playing
3rd Base Coach Vantage Point
Use hand signals and be vocal on where to STAY OR GO!!!!!!! yell slide .. talk shit .. know where the OF are and their arm strength, the speed of your runner.. the situation and more importantly don't listen to the bench or fans
Catcher Vantage Point - 3 key points of view (1) Throw it back to the pitcher and be thankful your in the lineup (2) What location to call (3) Catch the ball scrub!!!!!!!
Pitcher Vantage Point : - numerous
Who Is Up? What to throw? Throw quality strikes Do I like the mound? Do I feel comfortable? Do I trust me fielders? This ump sucks.... I love this ump..... Asshole Stud pitcher mentality go right after them..... Scared ask for out..... Diss your team ....Cheer.. ask for money and free shit
Hitter : Vantage point - numerous moving parts
Get your timing on deck.... What is this guy throwing? Be aggressive... Take a pitch, Whats the count? .. Don't choke!!! ....Crush this loser !!!!!! ....Don't strike out!!!! ... You can't hit and think at the same time
1st baseman Vantage Point
Help my infielders .... Play on or off the line .. where is everyone playing.. Come off the bag and get a throw .. back up throws
2nd Baseman Vantage Point
Go get bloopers .... Turn Double plays. Is that runner going to kill me or throw it straight through and make the motherfucker move ... Play to pull? Play the other way? .... Back up 1st ... Go get the Cut-Off ... Who is covering me or the SS? .... Do I trust my Shortstop or Of?
Shortstop Vantage Point
Who is up? Where to play? What is the speed of the runner? Go get the blooper ... Where is my 2nd and 3rd baseman playing? Make plays - smart ones preferred
3rd Baseman Vantage Point
On the line or off the line ... Do I step on 3rd and throw to 1st or 2nd? .. Is the runner fast??? Do I need to rush the throw??? Do I have too much time ? Am I scared to throw it away? Give up your body ... Dive .. No doubles ... Cut-off the throw home .. Hang in there on tough plays
Left Field Vantage Point
Does this guy have power? Shallow or Deep? Does my pitcher throw hard? Where is my cut-off .. Play the count ...Am I getting help from my LCF?
Left Center Fielder Vantage Point
You can see everything - the pitch location, the defense, the batters stance .... Shallow or deep? Which way to shade... Do I nee dto call off my other fielders on a high fly ball Where is my SS, RCF and LF ?
RCF Vantage Point
Same as LCF except work with RF and 2B
RF Vantage Point
Man I'm the worst OF out here... Throw the guy out or hit my cut-off ... Work on your swing between pitches.... Talk to the 2b about bloopers .... tell the RCf about the girl laying out in a bikini near you .... Keep throws low ... What base do i throw to? remember bloopers from righties kick toward the line with plenty of forward spin
Guys on the Bench Vantage Point - key points... Keep your mouth shut and wait your turn .... Man I need a new team ....I'm scared to go out there and fail. I like it here .. My managers a dick who hooks up his boys
Kids watching the game Vantage Point daddy your like Derek Jeter, daddy you suck, daddy I want to play .. daddy I want to go home
Wife or Girlfriend watching the game I hate softball This guy better appreciate this ... I got my eye on him now .. when are we leaving ... Boring.. Where's my cell phone .. heckle the other team .. support him .. damn I wish I was shopping
Heckler Who is the person i can annoy the most .. where's my beer... Why is this guy ignoring me?? I won't be ignored????????????