Monday, August 4, 2008


Is there a nastier 5 letter word for a softball player than Slump?
Everyone goes through it.
Some last a day, a week, a month or years. Wow years that's some deep shit.
They happen.

Most of time it comes from over swinging, trying to hard/pressing, or trying to prove to your teammates you belong. Hmm trying to prove you belong sounds like a good future blog topic, but for now let's get back to slumps. It's how you deal with it that counts.Relaxing, going back to basics, getting away from the game, liquor, are all highly recommended.

After a while it does become mental and like the great baseball idiot savant Yogi Berra

said "Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical. "
When I was single I asked a friend what is worse :"A batting slump or a sexual/dating slump?" and we both agreed a batting slump is far worse.Here's why

Top Ten Reasons a Batting Slump is Worse than a Sexual Slump

10. Liquor - If you haven't been able to hook up with someone you can always try to get them drunk and see if that works. If your in a batting slump getting the opposing pitcher drunk isn't quiet as effective or practical. Edge Sexual Slump

9. Referral - If you having trouble meeting someone a friend or a co-worker might be able to hook you up with another horny person. If your in a batting slump, no one can introduce you to a hit. You have to earn it. Edge Sexual Slump

8 Bars/Clubs vs Batting Cage- IF your lonely you can go to bars or nightclubs and try to meet other lonely people out there trying to meet Mr./Mrs Right. If your struggling at the plate you can always go to a batting cage and work on your mechanics. Both are usually a waste of time. Edge: Tie

7 Settle Factor - If you haven't gotten your rocks off in a while you can always meet someone ugly and release your frustration. In softball unless you get some clean hard hits, settling for a blooper or some other lucky hit doesn't quite satisfy your hunger.Edge Sexual Slump

6 Video/Internet. Watching Porn can help your demented sexually frustrated mind relax and lead you to #5 below. Watching videos of other people hit is OK I guess but Porn is way better. Edge Sexual Slump

5 Masturbation - If all else fails you always have self love. This is not possible in softball b/c no self hitting is allowed. Edge Sexual Slump

4. Privacy - If you keep your mouth shut no one needs to know that you can't get laid. But in softball everyone knows that your struggling b/c they can see it or look at your statistics. Edge Sexual Slump

3. Hard Luck - In dating you can do everything right for a girl and she still may not want to get it on. You can be a perfect gentleman, have a good job, dress GQ, take her dancing, and she still may only want to fuck her abusive ex-boyfriend. In softball you can hit the ball right on the button for an out and get nothing to show for it. That's why sometimes statistics are misleading. Edge Softball SLUMP. Sorry being a nice guy and not getting laid sucks.

2. Unexplainable Frustration Factor - both sexual/softball slumps are inexplicably frustrating. When you see another player with a terrible swing get hit after hit while your struggling it is really fucking annoying/frustrating. While in life when you see an asshole or an ugly person with someone that's hot while your going home alone to watch Star Trek rerun marathons on a Saturday Night that's fucking annoying as well. Edge : Tie

and the #1 Reasons a Batting Slump is Worse than a Sexual Slump
1. Money - You Can always buy sex. There are days when you can't buy a hit
Edge Sexual Slump are easier to deal with than batting slumps


  1. Rick, you made some valid points.
    But do remember that chicks love the long ball.

    Ump Oj

  2. Rick you are a sick puppy