One of the biggest sport stories going on right now is the Summer Olympics.
It got me wondering what if we had an Olympics for the softball community.
How would that go?
Top Ten Softball Olympic Events
10. THE JAVELIN EVENT - except in softball instead of throwing a Javelin we would throw Trophies.
Why not? Trophies are worthless anyway.
The manager of the Cardinals, Lou, would win the Gold as last week in the middle of Game three of the playoffs between the Sox and Cardinals he threw his 1st place regular season trophy onto the field for no good rhyme or reason. I say give him the gold b/c the commissioner of the central park league didn't give him a suspension, he might as well get something.
9 REVERSE TRACK AND FIELD - Instead of having the fastest guys run let's have the slowest do a race. Watching me run is always funny.
8. SOFTBALL - Cuba Vs USA vs. Dominican vs Mexico Vs PR vs Ireland.
The catch is you can only play on the team if you were actually born in the country.
This would be great for creating a race riot.
7. SWIMMING/DIVING - uh scratch that. I can't bear the thought of seeing most softball players in swimsuits.
6. BEACH VOLLEYBALL - As mentioned above swimsuits wearing is not allowed.
You have to play in your softball uniform.
I say Mickey Pekins and Eric win the Gold - you need to be fast and agile.
5. Tennis Anyone - Rob Ross is probably one the best tennis players that play softball.
B/c real Tennis is not inner city friendly, for the Softball Olympics we will change it to a NYC handball using a ghetto pink Spalldin ball
4. MARATHON - Run around Central park wearing your cleats, uniform, and holding your glove. the only catch is you have to drink beer, instead of water while doing it.
Murphy would probably win the Gold.
3. FENCING - No swords, just knives are used.
I'm sure finding knives to use won't be a problem in softball. call EMS , just don't play in the EMS league.
2. Soccer - This one might be tough.
Their is a lot of running involved in soccer and no courtesy runners are allowed.
I think we should just do penalty kicks except instead of kicking it you must hit a softball past a catcher wearing a helmet using an ASA approved bat of course.
and the Number One Softball Olympic event
1. BOXING/WRESTLING - OK here's how we do it in Softball.
One Contestant is the Catcher, the other contestant is the runner going home.
the ball is throw home and the runner must bowl over the catcher.
After the collision, a no holds bar boxing/wrestling brawl occurs.
The person who does not die wins the gold. - oh my bad this happens all the time anyway