Hell Hath No Fury

In the real world, Hell Hath No Fury like a woman scorned, well in softball this past weekend, I found out that Hell Hath No Fury like a Former Team scorned.

On Saturday, my former team the Cardinals smoked my current team the WestLanders. We were not competitive and got beat & outplayed that day in every facet of the game.

On Sunday, my former team Gallaghers (now called Saphire) played very well and earned two hard fought victories over my current team Hell's Kitchen.

The softball gods work in mysterious ways.

Hell Tidbit's from Sunday's Game:
(1) I can understand players missing a game, but why do they wait until game time/day to tell you - barring an emergency this is so irresponsible.
(2) Getting swept is very discouraging and inexcusable. It will be very interesting to see where the season goes from here. The league is tight this year and the young teams are hungry. We are better than this.
(3) We blame the umps way too much. We scored 4 runs in 2 games against the same pitcher. Let's look in the mirror. We are not good enough to throw our gloves on the field and win.
(4) Arguing amongst one another on the field is embarrassing.
(5) Gubi hit the ball hard all day but in tough luck. He has the skill set to bat 2nd.
(6) Gubi concentration lapses on the field are beyond comical and a shame for a player of his ability
(7) HK left the bases loaded and had nothing to show for it in the 1st 2 innings of the 3-1 Game One loss
(8) With the bases loaded and two outs in the 2nd it was Gubi turn at bat, he was hanging out on another field and not ready to hit. Needless to say, he did not come through.
(9) Ricky did not throw any bats Sunday.
(10) Losing is miserable

SB FROST NIXON ruined by the Chewbacca Defense

Recently I saw an outstanding movie that I highly recommend called Frost Nixon. In the flick, the disgraced US President Richard Nixon, played Oscar worthy by actor Frank Langella, is interviewed by David Frost and their discussion of the Watergate scandal is fascinating, powerful, and brilliant. Frost is unafraid to ask all the tough "no holds bar" questions and, in the end gets the better of Nixon who finally admits to lapses in judgement.

On a much lighter note (it is "only" softball) I thought the Big Apple Committee would follow David Frost's lead and ask all the tough questions regarding the issue of whether John Brown is a Superstar pitcher.

The official league decision on JB is as follows :

"The decision on John Brown being banned as a superstar is found by the committee to be without merit because for 2 years in a row at the league meeting the managers voted to define the superstar pitcher as being significantly better than John Brown, etc. He hasn't improved that much since March. What we're doing is getting a league wide vote to repeal the superstar pitcher rule and concentrate on legal motion--to not allow slingshot or windmill pitchers + eliminate the blatant slingshotters that we have had recently. "

The first part of this explanation makes no sense to me and is flat out stupid. Sorry guys I know and respect all of you, but it is stupid but that's how the league rules are currently written. It's basically just some mumbo jumbo double talk loophole like the famous South Park Chewbacca Defense

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/103454 (I love this clip)

that keeps a dominant "superstar" non-modified pitcher like John Brown in the league and does nothing to improve fair competition in 2009. That's the way it is.

On a positive note and to be fair, the second half of the statement that reads "getting a league wide vote to repeal the superstar pitcher rule and concentrate on legal motion" is very encouraging and definitely worth pursuing in 2010 and beyond. I sincerely wish the league the best with this aspiration. However, calling the current ruling and rules stupid pretty much makes my chances on getting on the committee zero. Se la vie

PS If I ever get accused of a crime (definitely a possibility) I want Rosenmiller defending me and the Big Apple Committee on the jury b/c if all else fails everyone knows a Wookie does not belong on Endor.

CRUNCHO

Tonight I umped an obscure Yorkville game on Grand Street in the rain. Usually nothing to write a blog about, but tonight was different. The losing Team, BALCO, sucked but they had one hitter #1 named CRUNCHO who was amazing. He hit three lasers for homer over LCF on field #2. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Much props

Vegas odds Americas Next Top SB Commissioner

Much props to my fellow Cardinal Spellman High Alumni Sonia Sotomayor

who President Barack Obama tapped for the Supreme Court, making her the first Hispanic in history picked to wear the robes of a justice.

Holler!!!!!!

It took balls and vision for Barack to select Sonia so it got me to thinking who would I tap as Americas Next Top SB Commissioner.

While I might not be as stunning as Americas Next Top Model host

Tyra Banks

I am as opinionated, qualified, obnoxious and ... like her humbled by a recent battle of the bulge to the Search for Americas Next SB Commissioner

Current Vegas Odds are as follows:

2 to 1

Lou "22" Gonzalez - Big favorite, Dude the guy's nickname is the "Commish" - tough to top that

3 to 1

Gilberto Gonzalez - If you think pitching rules are tight in Inwood you ain't seen nothing yet. Gilberto would rule with an Iron Fist

25 to 1

Jimmy Bitros One of the kindest people I know, but just wouldn't want the job b/c he doesn't want people hating him.

150:1

Joel Goldman (middle below)

Too Right Wing. The people would revolt!!!!! Que Viva La Revolucion

500 to 1

Chelo

No one would understand him plus he makes too much money grounds keeping to take the job.

1,000 to 1

Dio JacksonWould give speeches that not even Obama could match, but would be impeached Richard Nixon style.

I would pick Gil, but what do you the readers think?

Speech Making Managers

What would a softball game be without the pre-game, in-game, and post game speech by the SB manager/coach. So without much further ado
Top Ten SB Manager/Coach Speech Makers

10. Pete Martinez - Merrill Lynch.
Like James Brown Pete is the godfather of Softball

Pete's mad old skool, he doesn't fuck around and gives you mad tough love
Pre-game Speech: "Fellas these guys your playing suck, but if you don't put it on these boys right away before you know it it will be the 4th inning and the score will only be 3-2 us, then in the 7th it will be 4-3 them and then YOU'LL SUCK. Now let's go out there and take care of business"
In-Game Speech : "You motherfuckers are looking professional"
Post-Game Speech : "Good job coming out tonight and next week, uh excuse me Ricky why the Fuck are you talking when I'm talking. Shut up and Listen before I send you home"

9. Ben Manelli Pipefitters
Pre-Game Speech : "Hi"
In-Game Speech: "Ok I'm cool with that"
Post-Game Speech "Thanks for coming"

8. Dio Jackson- WestLanders
The pre-game speech is not enough for Dio, he sends out about 1,000 text messages during the week about everything from the ridiculous to the sublime.

Pre-game Speech: "Focus. Stick Together. Trust me I have a plan. These guys are men just like us. Who cares what anyone says. Play the game. I love you guys". Honestly, I could go on and on, but think Denzel Washington in "Remember the Titans" In-game Speech : "Stay with Me" - in other words your out of the game, as you can see him telling me below

Post Game Speech: "I love you guys but we need to play Westlanders softball. Stick with me. I have a plan. Now let's go hang out and drink beers"

8. Blonde - Knockout KA Fidel Castro below

Pre-Game Speech : "Rick read the lineup"

In-Game Speech : " "

Post-Game Speech : " "

7. John Sheppard - Championship Manager

Pre-Game Speech: "Ricky read the lineup" - common wise choice as experienced guy has loudest mouth read the lineup

In-Game Speech: 3 Classics

"Not for nothing, but guys leave the umpires to me".

"Ricky shut up and do as I say"

"I don't care what anyone says about your Ricky I love you"

Post Game Speech:"Where's Smokey?"

6. Mike Mena - Bombers

Pre-Game Speech: "Guys I made the lineup last night and here it is

In-Game Speech: not applicable - Mike is very laid back and easy going

Post Game Speech:"Pay your league fee guys"

5. Lou "22" Gonzalez - one of the greatest softball competitors and players around. Lou never manages, but is always in charge. Lou gets your ready for softball war. After he speaks I'm ready to storm the beach at Normandy!

Pre-Game Speech: "We're here to win. Don't sleep on these guys they can do xyz and beat us. Just cause you won 1 championship that's nothing your a one hit wonder like Minny Vanilli, you got to build a reputation of continued excellence. We came to win"

In-Game Speech: "You've seen this pitcher already make the adjustment"

Post Game Speech:"Great Job guys. You beat a seasoned quality opponent and every single one of you did something to help us win"

4. Charlie and Brian - Westies
Pre-Game Speech : "Nice to see you"
In-Game Speech : "Sit this inning and then go to Cf next inning"
Post-Game Speech :"Nice to see you again see you next week"

2. John RosenMiller - Choice Parts
Pre-Game Speech : "Where are my cigarettes?"
In-Game Speech : "Good call Mr. Johnson" & "Where are my cigarettes?"
Post-Game Speech: "Where are my cigarettes?"

and the Number One SB Manager/Coach Speech Makers


1. Bob Morello - Charter Fabric
Pre-Game Speech : "Guys take a strike and don't throw the ball around"
In-Game Speech : "Guys take a strike and don't throw the ball around"
Post-Game Speech : "Guys take a strike and don't throw the ball around"