Monday, July 14, 2014

SB/A96 Zimbio

If you haven't taken a Zimbio test at by now I suggest you do so. It's half psychological profile and half personality as you just answer a series of questions about yourself and your are matched up with your favorite celebrity, TV show, Movie, Music, Comic book, etc.

Some of my favorites Zimbio quizzes are :

Which Game of Thrones Character are You - Daenerys. That's Hot she's the Mother of Dragons.

I'm the Father of Dragons.

Which Xmen are You - Wolverine - duhh

Which Avenger Are you? - Captain America!!!!! Avengers Assemble Bitch
Which Star Trek Character are You? Q - only hardcore fans would understand
Which Modern Family Character Are you - "Jay" - Al Bundy of Softball (future blog)
What Star Wars Character are You? - Darth Vadar - "There Still is Good in Me"
Who's Your Celebrity Girlfriend .. uhhh.. too much information, plus Astrid might be reading
Which Sopranos Character Are you? - Tony Soprano of course

I love this nerd shit. It's fun. Sometimes even deep and I see no reason why can't softball have a Zimbio Test?

Top Ten Softball Zimbio Tests

10. Which Team do you belong on? Options are

  • Choice Parts
  • Inwood Legends
  • Highlanders
  • Coed Generic Yorkville Corporate Team

9. Are you softball whore? Final Answers are

  • Yes
  • No
  • Only when drunk, high, or team fully sponsored

8. Do you belong in a Above or Below 96th Street softball league? - Key Questions:

  • Do you speak English? 
  • Do you have a 401k account?
  • Do you read the NY Times?
  • Do you play Lotto?

7. Who is your favorite umpire? Choices:

  •  Butchy
  • OJ
  • Little Lootch
  • Mr Johnson
  • They all Suck

6. Which Softball Bat are you? Final Answers :

  • Miken
  • Demarini
  • Worth
  • Louisville Slugger
  • Most expensive bat I didn't pay for

5. Which field is best for you?

  • Any field
  • 28th Street
  • 54th Street
  • Central Park
  • Inwood

4. Are you a good manager? Results would be:

  • Yes,
  • No
  • Sometimes
  • Fuck you I paid for the team

3. Which Celebrity would fit best on your team?

  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Madonna
  • Cast of Friends reunion
  • George Clooney
  • Eminem
  • Barack Obama

2.Softball Recruiting Ethics: Key Question: Do you flat out bullshit to get what you want?

and the Number One Softball Zimbio Quiz:

1. Are you a True Hardcore player: Key Questions:

  • When you miss a game does it hurt?
  • When your done playing and it's still nice out do you wish you were still playing.
  • You would run through fire to make a  play or get to a game.

Special Insider Bonus from Guest Writer Astrid Olimpiew

Last week I took a biased Below 96th street NYC quiz at where I scored a 83% New York. that's bullshit.

Well in response to this B96 test, my wife developed the following A96 quiz (enjoy).

1) What does A96 stand for?
    a) Name of ritzy restaurant
    b) code for cops
    c) Name of roadway
    d) above 96th street
2) What is a bodega?
    a) a nightclub
    b) a retail store
    c) an overpriced convenient store
    d) a liquor store
3) What items below may you find in a bodega?
    a) El presidente beer
    b) Dulce de leche ice cream
    c) pork rinds
    d) weed
    e) all of the above
4) Do you yield for pedestrians when driving a car?
    a) Always
    b) Depends on whether they have the right of way
    c) No, I have insurance
    d) Sometimes
5) Where do you go to fill up your gas tank?
    a) The nearest gas station
    b) Across the bridge in New Jersey
    c) In New York state outside of city limits
    d) the cheapest station in NYC
6) What is the official language of Washington Heights?
    a) Spanish
    b) English
    c) Hebrew
    d) Dominican
7) What color is a taxi?
    a) black
    b) Yellow
    c) Pink
    d) Green
8) What is the typical wait time for service at a restaurant in your neighborhood?
   a) 30 minutes
   b) More than one hour
   c) Less than 30 minutes, service is fast!
   d) what service?
9) How do kids cool off during a hot summer day?
    a) Pool
    b) Take a shower
    c) Fire hydrant
    d) Lake
10) Where do people in your neighborhood grill?
    a) At a park
    b) On the sidewalk
    c) In their backyard
    d) On the balcony
Bonus question:
11) What is the Great White Barrier?
    a) An area in the barrier reef frequented by Great white sharks
   b) An instrument designed to reduce white noise
   c) A white wall designed to reduce noise pollution erected by neighborhoods next to highways
   d) An imaginary barrier separating Uptown from the lower side of Manhattan


  1. 1) d) above 96th street
    2) c) an overpriced convenient store
    3) e) all of the above
    4) c) No, I have insurance
    5) b) Across the bridge in New Jersey
    6) d) Dominican
    7) a) black
    8) d) what service?
    9) c) Fire hydrant
    10) b) On the sidewalk
    11) d) An imaginary barrier separating Uptown from the lower side of Manhattan