Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Beer Spokesman

Pro Athletes frequently get hired as beer spokesman. What if Softball players could get hired as well? So without much further ado, let's Top Ten and see which softball enthusiast would be hired by major beer distributors:

10/9 Miller Lite and Corona

In the 70's Billy Martin and George Steinbrenner made this classic Miller Lite commercial
perhaps Miller Lite would consider a remake with Dio Jackson and John Sheppard as modern spokesmen

then again maybe Corona should just give them a call

8. Natural Light

Edgar "The Natural" Gonzalez Jris the natural and obvious choice.

7. Heineken
Aaron "Harrooooo" Fernandez would be the perfect spokesman for as they could film him drinking a beer on the field during an actual game thereby showing that it is possible to consume a strong imported beer and play the outfield at a high level in 95 degree weather.

6. Coors Light - the silver bullet

Everyone loves the NFL head Coaches Coors Light Commercials
and softball has many players that could star
in a Coors Light commercial, but anyone who knows anything about softball's knows that the game's best drunk hitter Lou Gonzalez is the perfect most deserving pitchman.

5. Guinness
A strong beer needs an imported beer aficionado and in softball the biggest imported beer fan I know is Jack "Bandanna Man" Cutler. Bandanna Man would let fellow drinkers know about the rich flavor benefits of Guinness as well as try and make them rich by handicapping sports.

5. Dos Equis
The current beer spokesman touts himself as the most interesting man in the worldin softball a logic choice would be Marc Rosenthal
b/c if awake, I can see him saying the following famous Dos Equis pitch "I don't drink beer often but when I do I make sure it's Dos Equis: Stay thirsty My Friend Stay Thirsty

4/3. Budweiser and Bud Light
Bud usually has the best commercials

but the worst tasting beer. A good spokesman for them would have been my old Merrill Lynch teamas they always brought out the best and worst in softball.

However, If the crew at Merrill refuses to the the spot I'm sure the marketing genius at Budweiser could create a funny spot with Juan Parra and his ugly Legends Jersey2. Michelob Ultra

from Contact would make the perfect below 96th street well dressed handsome metrosexual (man crush) young urban pofessional spokesman for this light beer

and #1 Softball Beer Spokesman would be

1. Bud Light Lime

For this obnoxious bright hideous tasting beer

the perefct spokeman would be any fool (like me) who wore a bright hideous 2010 Uptown Chiefs champiosnhip t-shirt. ughhhh


  1. Marc Rosenthal, the most interesting man on the softball field? HORRIBLE choice! TERRIBLE! HORRIBLE!

  2. Rick,when you do the rum one,you are bacardi man.

  3. the lime shirt is the official shirt of the Gay Pride parade next year ! wear it proudly !