Thursday, April 16, 2009

RIP, 1040 and SB

It's April 16th, one day after the Tax deadline. I'm writing this blog one day too late, but I hope you got your taxes in on time or Uncle Sam

will be knocking on your door wanting his money!!!! "Bitch Betta have my Money!!!!!!!!!! They say that Death and Taxes are the only sure in life, but I disagree I think Softball should be grouped in there as well.

Top Ten Reasons/Factors that prove Softball should be grouped in as a Sure thing along with Death and Taxes

10. Inevitability Factor - all are subject to deadlines
Death - Unless your the immortal superhero Thor everyone has their time , without exception

Taxes - To live in a "free country" you better pay up by April 15th
Softball - After Winter, must come spring and with spring "hope springs eternal" for all softball players

However, an actual softball game has one huge advantage over Death and Taxes in that time is irrelevant. You have to get 21 outs. If it takes you 3 hours or 45 minutes, you have to get those outs. Except in a Mercy of course. If your league has a game time limit then the commissioner should be killed and/or fined like in death and taxes.

9. Bottom Line Factor
Death - When it happens it's a wrap homie so enjoy your time now
Taxes - Pay what you owe or give the country an interest free loan and ask your accountant "How much you getting Back" at the end of the year
Softball - Your judged by your wins and losses

8. Comeback Factor
Death - many people believe in an after life
Taxes - File an extension and you can pay later
Softball - "It ain't over till it's over"

7. Signature factor
Death - Someone signs a Death Certificate
Taxes - You sign your tax return
Softball - You sign a contract, insurance form, roster, and if Mr Johnson is the umpire you will probably sign your score sheet so that a protest can be reviewed but never approved

6. Cheater Factor
Death - everyone tries to cheat death

Plastic surgery, Cryogenics, special diets, drugs. In my favorite TV show Lost they always say that the universe has a way of course correcting itself. I guess it goes back to the depressing inevitable thing again.
Taxes - Lots of people "Cheat" on their taxes so as to maximize their $$$
Softball - Wringers, bribes, paying players, and manipulating officials is no holds bar in softball.

5. Peace Factor
Death - everyone always talks about finding peace before they die.
Taxes - Your happy this shit is over with and you find peace in it.
Softball - Peace in softball is difficult to find b/c of the stress factor. At the very minimum try an find joy in playing and competing otherwise you'll never find peace and it will not be worth it.

4. Dishonor Factor
Death - Death before Dishonor is any true warriors motto
Taxes - If you get caught by the IRS they will drag you through the mud
Softball - Better to lose on the field , than win by forfeit

3. Unpredictability Factor
Death - you don't know exactly when your gong to kick the bucket
Taxes - Until you sit down and fill out your tax form you don't know how much you owe.
Softball - is like Disney World, Anything can happen and it usually does

2. Complication/Age Factor
Death - people associate advanced age with Death. It is only natural
Taxes - the older you get the more complicated filing you return gets
Softball - Unless your a late bloomer, the older you get the most likely your skills erode. Also, as you get older you get more responsibility and complications like work and family make softball tough to squeeze in.

and the Number Reason/Factor that proves Softball should be grouped in as a Sure thing along with Death and Taxes

1 Heartache factor
- no explanation necessary
Taxes - No one likes to pay the Man. No one.
Softball - Walk off losses stick in your craw forever

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