Monday, February 16, 2009

Time To Report

Pitchers and Catchers - the only words that make the worst sports month, February, bearable.

For the average guy its still get up, walk the dog, take junior to school, go to work (if you even have a job in this economy .. GO STIMULUS!!!!!!), and go back home and pay the bills.

The weather sucks and there is no after work softball, but when you hear the words "Pitchers and Catchers" you know its time for pros, like AFraud,

to report to camp and softball isn't that fair away.

Softball Players don't have "Spring Training" so how do most players get ready for the season?

Top Ten Ways Softball Players Get Ready for a Season

10. Forget getting in shape, they look for a Sponsor. There own version of an economic bailout. It's simple.
No Money = No team. All teams need a sugar daddy.
9. Batting Cages - read the classic blog
tells you all you need to know about what Batting Cages do for you

8. Look for a practice field.
If your in Manhattan this is a major problem as the Dewitt Clinton 54th street Field, formerly called "Donde Caja la vaca" is closed for construction.
Los Locos haven't slept for weeks b/c they have no where to play until Central Park opens in early April.

7. Diet. Nah this is personal.
I just wanted to write that I've lost 6 pounds on my diet.
I weigh 222 lbs, still fat, but slowly getting there.
As Mr T said "PAIN"
6. Steroids - time to cycle on. There is no drug testing in softball.
5. Talk shit and tell everyone how good they are.
4. Look for a new team to play on.
3. Exercise. Lift weights, run, and masturbate to porn.
Anything to kill the boredom that is called February.
2. Prepare for their Fantasy Baseball draft.
Gotta get your statistical baseball swerve on. It makes you want to play, until you realize how much running is involved.

and the Number One Way Softball Players Get Ready for a Season

1. Play weekend exhibition softball games.
The weekend warrior wakes up after a long winter of hibernation, watching NFL games, eating chicken wings, and drinking beer to play meaningless softball in freezing weather on a Sat/Sunday morning.

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