- I want to do a funny blog, but I don't feel funny right now.
- I want to do a hardcore editorial old school softball blog, but I don't feel analytical right now.
- I want to do a top ten blog, but I don't feel clever right now.
You see what I feel right now is the worst possible emotion you can feel in softball - Jealousy. What am I jealous of? Basically everything
- Other players, Teammates , Youth, Talent, Managers
- Power , Other teams, Lefties , Speed , Scrubs
- 5 tool Players, Wasted Talent, Money , Other teams recruiting tactics
- Things like someone else is Hitting and I wasn't
The list continues to spiral out of control. Why? I don't know and I don't like. Maybe it's frustration. Maybe it's just that the game can be so hard sometimes. Maybe it's just stress. Whatever it is it's definitely given me writer's block and is causing hatred to flow through my veins. Sometimes it feels like I'm going psychotic as I've turned into a hater.
Competition drives every top player. I know I'm not alone as many players have that alpha male rivalry gene inside of them. Jealousy is common in our sport, but blind jealousy is a path to the softball dark side. I know, I know, excuse the corny Star Wars quote, but so fucking true. Uncontrolled Jealous is evil.
When I feel dark evil rage jealousy boil inside of me the only way I can get rid of it is admit that it exists and focus instead on using it as a motivator. In life we have no control of others, but what we can control is how we act and react so I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it. Jealousy has clouded my brain long enough. If you want to make things better for yourself you just got to do it yourself.
Time to do Insider