Sunday, February 13, 2011

SB Paradoxes.. the Return of the Top Ten

A Paradox is a Contradiction. By their very nature, paradoxes are intriguing, confusing, and contain many interesting truths. Some of my favorite real world paradoxes include:

"Which came first the chicken or the egg"
"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't"
"Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded.""
"I can resist anything except temptation"
"Don't go near the water 'til you have learned how to swim"
"If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call"

The master of uncovering baseball paradoxes is
Yogi Berra

So with a lot of inspiration from Yogi (Yogisms), I've borrowed some of his famous quotes and added others that I've observed to generate:

Top Ten Softball Paradoxes

10. Yogi quote "Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical."
Softball Analysis: We are all more than the sum of our parts in softball and the missing variable in that equation is your mind. Sports and real world psychologist could make a lot of money in softball with all the head cases out there.

9. Yogi Quote "How can a you hit and think at the same time?"
Softball Analysis: Caveman mentality - keep it simple

8. Yogi Quote "It gets late early out there."
Softball Analysis: This is especially true in a seven inning softball game where the 4th inning is more than half way through the contest.

7. Yogi Quote "It's like deja vu all over again."
Softball Analysis #1: Same league, team, or umpire does something shiesty that causes you to lose.

Softball Analysis #2: Same guy on your team fucks up over and over again. To make matters worse, he's too stupid to learn from his mistakes

6. Yogi Quote "You can observe a lot just by watching."
Softball Analysis : Pay attention

5. Common Hitting Paradoxes
"Be Patiently Aggressive as a hitter"
"Take pitches"
"Work the Count"
"Wait for your pitch"
"Relaxed Intensity"

Softball Analysis: OVERLOAD!!!!! OVERLOAD!!!!!!! OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!

4. Common Pitching Paradoxes

"Throw strikes, but don't give him anything to hit"
"Work ahead"
"Let them hit it"

Softball Analysis : To borrow a quote from HOF Bob Gibson "the only thing the asshole who said this knows about pitching is that he can't hit it"

3. "Recruiting Philosophy Paradox"

"If You want to recruit a player don't call him"

Softball Analysis :
Sometimes have to treat a player you want like that hot girl you want to fuck .. IGNORE!!! IGNORE!!! IGNORE!! as the shortest distance between two points is a circle. Patience and going through long indirect channels helps prevent scarring that stud player away. The trick is striking at the right time. When all else fails dumb luck also helps.

2. Managing/Player Development Paradox

"You have to let players fail"

Softball Analysis: It sounds weird to "let players fail" but it makes sense. You want guys to just go out there and play without looking over their shoulder and at the same time you can evaluate their strengths, weaknesses, and ability to deal with the adversity. Everyone deserves a chance.

and the number One Softball Paradox

1. Yogi Quote "it Ain't Over till it's Over"

Softball Analysis: This one has to be number one even though it's not an exact contradiction. It's a statement of determination, perseverance, and perhaps more importantly, the unpredictability of the sport. You can't run out the clock in this game. You have to make plays.

In every game their are key plays, calls, and decisions that determine the outcome. In many games you know way before the last out that "It's Over", but special players keep the very spirit of it Ain't Over till it's Over" alive


  1. Great post, Ricky! I really adore the vintage Yoohoo AD!

  2. Funny, great stuff mistro Rick.