Tuesday, June 10, 2014

No Rhyme or Reason for Nuthin #1 ... Boiling Softball Frog

I've been holding off on this blog for a while. You see I wanted to write one last blog about the Big Apple League, but I faced the following two big challenges:

1. Fatherhood - everyday
Fatherhood - Alexandra and Caley - Hottest set of Twin babies



















2. Selling out to Comments - Big Apple blogs are not my best blogs, but they are by far my biggest comment generating blogs.  Some people equate blog comments to TV Shows ratings. The higher the number of comments the better the blog. I don't think that way, I don't write for comments I write because I write. I'm not gonna sell out and write a Big Apple Blog just to get people to write comments. This isn't a wack ass corny Network comedy like Three Company where some uncreative writer desperate to hold on to his job and can't think of anything new to write has Jack Tripper flip over the couch every week


just to get a cheap laugh and get people to tune in the following week.

P.S John Ritter was awesome. That show was all him.

Still I do love my readers comments and unless one is disrespectful to my family or someones memory I cared about I will never take it down. Here are an example of some that
  • Made me laugh
#1 "If you want to hold us to the rules and suspend us for acting "thuggish" (I'm not sure what that really means) and in an "unsportsmanlike behavior"...that's fine. But here's my question...isn't illegal pitching also in the rule book? When will the league enforce those rules and hold the teams accountable who have illegal pitching?

Rick you have it right, I am no Saint but I will stand by what I believe in. If I pay for a service, it needs to be delivered. I signed up for a "modified" league. This shit is "open" and anything goes in terms of pitching. I get it and I'll make the adjustment if given the opportunity. It's softball gentlemen...it's not personal. At least I don't believe it to be.

I'm not into the "who has the biggest dick" thing. I would lose. I'm short and Hispanic. Don't be fooled by my last name.

Have a Happy Mother's Day!

- Dio Jackson"

*********************************************
#2 Starring in today's performance...Rosenmiller as Richard Nixon (misunderstood), Bitros as Jimmy Carter (good guy not appreciated), Ricky as young Fidel Castro (planning the coup) Castro, Dio as MLK (fighting for softball rights), John Sheppard as a retired Winston Churchill (don't wanna fight no more).

- Blondie
aka the snake
  • Made me stronger
So when you don't get your way you cry about it. Evidently our managers know your game plan and don't want a whiney spoiled team in our league managed by someone whose ego is out of control. You may think you're respected as a softball player but you're not. Live with the reputation you created. By the way every blog you write ends up being all about you. It's getting old.


Signed Anonymous


  • Made me see people different
"all i know is that Ricky has been running the best fall league around for the past 14 years! Better top to bottom comp than big apple! never a question about the pitching! i haven't played in the last two years but ill tell you one thing not one fight ! zero controversy in the 12-13 years that i did play. so letting rick have a say in how the league is run is a very good idea in my humble opinion!!!!!"

HK 11February 20, 2014 at 4:37 PM

  • Made me Friends and allowed people to know me
He'll be waiting for you the day you move on. He's watching. The love never dies.

peace and blessings
jack s.
  • Made me Learn I am not Alone
I am one of three commissioners in that league (New York Show Business League) and I also a manager/player on a team (Turtle Rock) in that league. The banning of what we call tournament style or non-modified pitching has resulted in a rebirth of our league.

In previous years (until 2009) non-modified pitching had become a big problem for the league. We were losing teams all over the place. Every year we had to dig up new teams. And the result was a league that existed to serve a small number of teams that had access to one of these semi-pro type pitchers. But that was not and never had been the philosophy of the Tuesday league.

The NYSBL exists (like a lot of amateur leagues) to provide the best playing experience for the greatest number of players.... The losers in that scenario were all the many players who show up on their day off or take time from work and want to enjoy a game of softball. They do not want a small number of teams with access to high level pitching to continually have a competitive advantage.......... 

In 2010 we took a vote at a managers meeting and a huge majority of managers voted to strictly enforce the pitching rules of our league Our goal as an athletic organization was never to have the highest level of competition possible. It was to provide a level a playing field for players of all abilities to compete and to provide the best playing experience for the largest number of participants. Why should so many players pay money to play all summer if the rules are twisted to ensure that their teams cannot succeed. The truth is a level playing field is not possible when a few teams have the advantage of non-modified pitchers.

We also got rid of cash prizes which were jacking up the "need" to win and providing an incentive to pay pitchers. That change has helped us to keep our team fees lower. -  Thomas Wagner

*********************************************
So I know Big Apple blogs are important to people so if I'm going to do a Big Apple blog I gotta come correct. That's why I've wanted to let the season play out a little and while observing the league that's when it struck me. This season is more than just an observation, it's an Experiment.

More precisely, it's a Boiling Softball Frog Experiment.
















In science the theory is "If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will of course frantically try to clamber out. but if placed in cold water that is slowly heated, it will not perceive the danger and eventually will be cooked to death."  The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to significant changes that occur gradually.

That is exactly what has happened to the Big Apple league. Slingers/non-modified pitchers didn't all show up at once. It was gradual and nothing was done. then the situation got out of control.


First one pitcher came, then another, then another, then a ban list, then a debate, then another non modified pitcher came, then another, and before you know it 6 softball frogs were cooked to death. 


The ensuing fallout from the boiling softball frog experiment was not a conclusion, rather another 
experiment called an A/B league. "A" pitchers can pitch one game and B pitchers another so far the results of the experiment have been as follows:

1. Parity - there no push over teams. Every team has an A pitcher. I don't give a fuck who is ranked what. There is parity now. Anyone can beat anyone.


2. Less Teams Less Opportunities - Certain teams are 20 deep in players. Certain players were phased out of the league. Less is not more.

3. Complaining about other shit - Mostly umpires. That will never end, but the most annoying hypocritical cry baby shit I've heard is people complaining about certain team paying players. I have news for everyone, except for the Rangers, it's obvious that every team either has a paid players on their rosters or guys who are only playing because the team has a sugar daddy footing the bill. This is reality and quite frankly no one's business. Stop gossiping about it, it's like high school.

4. Empty Fields - The Big Apple has subleased the great lawn field to a Co-ed league. Also, all 
hard core Sunday Hecksher players can't help but notice that fields 4 and 5 are empty from 11am until 1/2pm, respectively. Empty softball fields are enough to make a grown softball warrior cry. The morning league is ready for doubleheaders. Adapt or die frog.

5. Love - Sorry but the league still works. I missed a game two weeks ago to take care of my kids and it really hurt.For many players this is the highlight of their week. Enthusiasm and competition is high. A true test. 

Boiling Frog Experiment Conclusion

Time to Adapt


















It's time to Split, and I don't mean a doubleheader, I mean leagues. Sorry but this A and B thing is too much talking and too risky for the future of the league. The league should simply merge with the morning league and play at 10am and 1 pm. The A league should play at 1pm and be a money league. Simple as that. A leagues and pitchers are all about money

Don't become become Kermit stew.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Ump Hustle ..."For the Love of the Game".. A Romantic Comedy in the Making

I may be  be tough on umps at times

but I also show love. Speaking of Love today I profile one of NYC best hustling umpires 
Hustle
Little Lootch.

When Little Lootch wasn't on the run hustling after a play
watching the Runner after a base hit
Back to the Right Spot
In between the action Little Lootch was kind to enough to give me an in game interview to give us insight into his focus


After that Little Lootch was all over the filed
Following Home Plate Ump with his clicker - Professional

In between innings Little Lootch granted me a special interview where he touched upon a variety of important umpire, life, charity and career subjects:




Interesting.

I could see Little Lootch becoming a Romantic comedy in a reboot of the Love of the Game move. This time he falls in love with a female player in a Co-Ed game he's umping. Worst scripts have been written.

More importantly, good ump, good guy, a pleasure to have working in Inwood.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Modern SB Ambervision Informaercial

Having adequate eyesight is just one piece of the puzzle to becoming a good hitter,  and many people wear Sunglasses while playing to improve/enhance their vision. Popular frames include : Oakley's,  Arnette's, and Ambervision?????

No Ambervision?

Remember those terrible 80's ripoff Sunglasses commercials.

At first I thought they were for blind people.

Well Softball legend Marc G

has gone Retro and bought them back and filmed his own Sb AmberVision commercial.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm


Thursday, May 22, 2014

Spare Part ....Insider Exclusive

One of the new season's early player movement surprises has been legendary Choice Parts bench coach  Charlie "The Champ" Bailey's moving to the Rangers (no we were't trade for each other...lol).

Did he leave by Choice?

Was he discarded like a Spare Part?

Was he punished?

What is he doing now?

What does the future hold?

The Insider held special two part interview to find out

Part 1



As predicted by Nostradamus Bailey, the Rangers did beat Choices Parts in splitting a doubleheader.

The followup to Interview one revealed a bit more

Part 2


There is more to this story.

The Insider will continue to follow until get he gets some answers.

Until then good luck Charlie with fixing your teeth.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

No Rhyme or Reason for Nuthin #2 .. .. Don't Rush My Softball Don't Rush My Porn

“It's the time of the softball season, when hate runs high And this time, I'm give it to you easy, when I take back what's mine With pleasured hands, and torture everyone, that is my plan My job here isn't done, cause there's no rhyme or no reason for nothing” - Eminem Marshall Mathers LP II

I rarely hate on umps; well except for that loser Mr Magoo

 a few years ago. he fucking deserved it. One of the best things this blog ever did was help get rid of his confrontational incompetent, lying ass. Yeah I went there; fuck that.

Anyway, back to my point I've umpired, I've made many mistakes and I know how hard it. I never blame an umpire for :
  • taking a collar. I am responsible for my own play
  • making an error on the field of play. I am responsible for my own play
  • taking a called 3rd strike. Yes some bad strike 3 calls happen, but you have to Trust yourself. I've made that mistake. Swing at anything close. Don't Trust any ump They are Poison - - like that old Bell Biv DeVoe song "Never Trust a big butt and a smile"

Never trust an ump.
  • Calls. I will ask, but not make a big issue. I hate whiners and ass kissers
  • Show up an ump. Respect
Blaming umps is weak. yes they have a big say in a game and yes they on occasion do determine wins and losses, but I always try and respect guys who are 
  • Professional
  • Hustle
  • Know the rules
  • Are decisive
  • Honest.
But if there is one thing I will never ever tolerate in an umpire is one who rushes the game. I have one adage in life "Don't rush My softball Don't Rush My Porn". I have to much shit going on in real life that the few precious moments that I have in both should never be fucking rushed.

Softball and Porn have several things in common that should never be rushed that I like:

Themes
Porn - Dad's Hot Girlfriend, My Evil Step Mom, Naughty America, WOW Girls
Softball - Rivalries, Betrayal,  Revenge

Climax
Porn - Obvious
Softball - It Ain't Over Till it's Over

Bad Dialogue and Cursing
Porn - legendary horrible plots, writing, and acting. No one cares what anyone says usually outside of a moan here and there.
Softball - Goons and Bobo talk from all races, creeds, domination's, and walks off life.

Passion
Porn - duhh
Softball - Softball without passion has no flavor

Whores
Porn - It's all about the Benjamen's baby. They will do anything for money
Softball - Certain people will do anything for softball. Take it from me I know.

Lies
Porn - People lie about watching porn
Softball - People lie about softball - Their accomplishments, whereabouts, availability, commitment, ability, etc

Now let me be clear I understand there are external factors like expiring permits, weather, and light availability that requires an umpire to keep a game moving (all good umps keep a game moving), but there is nothing more that pisses me off when an umpire that blatantly rushes a game. 

The following are the most Obvious Obnoxious Examples of rushing a game:

1. Bases Too far. So obnoxious that I had  to put in red, bold, and enlarge. Are you fucking kidding me? This is  far this is the oldest and most insulting trick in book. Softball base lengths are 60 or 65 feet depending on league rules. Umps who walks off bases are by far the biggest culprits. It's simple longer bases make games go faster. "No bang bang plays". Now let me break down some leagues and the base lengths grades:

- Big Apple - these umps measure the bases before every game. They make suck at other stuff, but there base distance is always on point  A+

- Inwood - When Chelo measures A+. Otherwise it's up for grabs, Grade B

- 54th Street Wednesdays and Yorkville  No grade - Not a factor. It's on Turf - the bases are measured off. Can't cheat

- Jersey City Softball - No grade - bases are in ground

- NY Fast Pitch - depends on the ump. They get a C

- Broadway Show and  Performing Arts League - Grade is a C. Again depends on Ump. Butchy the worst. He's my boy, but he's the worst. His bases are marathon distance.

- Bum Rush League = F. Flat out fucking horrible. I don't care who's umpiring. It well beyond 65. Everyone I ask gives me a different league distance. Umpires, Commissioner, Managers, players. Never measured. Horrible at least 70 feet. At least

 - Noble Avenue Bronx  - D - Used to be excellent. Now it flat out sucks. Umpires there are super blatant bobos as the base lengths are marked off by white lines on poles and they still extend beyond. Whatever. Lucky for them most players in that league are too dumb, drunk or high to notice or even care.

- Hecksher Gotham Sports Saturday League. F. I haven't played there in years for a reason. This is one of them. Bases used to be in the grass.

Other cheap ump tricks:

2. Slot Machine Strike Arm - Umps who are strike happy with strikes zones the size of the grand canyon. They raise their damn right arm like a senior citizen at Harrah's playing the Wheel of Fortune Slot machine. It's strike strike strike strike strike strike strike. Bullshit. Lower your arm homie you ain't hitting the $50 ump fee jackpot.

More importantly, what really annoys me is when a sympathy umpire give pitchers that arc strike because they feel bad he's getting hit. They think he's gonna get clobbered and before you know it the arc-baller actually wins the game. So fucking annoying

3. Big Lead out calls on obvious safes - whatever. Hurry Hurry Hurry

4. Lying about permits and guys behind you. Time limit lies are bullshit.Hurry Hurry Hurry

5. Umps that refuse to ask their partner for help.Hurry Hurry Hurry

6. Umps who huddle and you can tell they know the call is wrong, but they say fuck it and leave the call as is. Hurry Hurry Hurry

7. Umps because of some stupid code who refuse to override their partner when needed. I understand having your partner's back. I really do. But come on how about a little team work in key spots. Hurry Hurry Hurry

I can take bad calls, mistakes, accidents, it happens what I can't take is lies. Don't lie to me or my team. It's insulting

I respect the fact that your doing job and making money, but please  be considerate that we have rushed from work, left our families, lied to our wives, sacrificed to get there. Just let us play.

Don't Rush my Softball Don't Rush my Porn otherwise I get fucked