Symbiosis

"So God just help me out while I fight through this grievin' process

Trying to  process this loss is makin' me nauseous" - Eminem "You're Never Over"

Losing hurts more than winning, but in softball/baseball there is one form of loss that is the most profound.

The loss that hurts the most is not 

• A Game - any form of heartbreak sucks but there is something worse in softbal
• Money - sucks to lose, but there is something worse in softball 
• A Star Player - key defections are bad but there is something worse in softball
• Your Position/Playing Time no one likes to lose/waste time, but there is something worse in softball
• Bat - no one like to lose their gamer, it's psychological, but there is something worse in softball
• Ethics - a bad reputation sucks but there is something worse in softball
• Friends/Teammates  - In general players come and go and almost every winning team has a casualty. I know it sounds cold but there is still something worse in softball

By Far the worse thing to lose in Softball is your Glove.

5 weeks ago I lost my glove.

FUCK!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

I loved that goddamn ugly abused beaten up piece leather. Lost it after a 54th street championship doubleheader.FUCK!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

I had it "only" 6 years and just gave it a tune up this spring compliments of glove master Enrique.

Sorry but losing your glove is the brutal as the relationship between a player and glove is personal. I mean c'mon when you put that thing on it's like your joined and the real world doesn't exists anymore. It is clearly a close symbiotic relationship where both the player and glove entirely depend on each other for survival.  It becomes part of you and you become a part of it .Once broken/severed its like part of you has died as well. 

Losing that glove has to be bad karma punishment from the softball gods

for something bad I've done. A steep penalty to pay from for my sins.

I have a new glove now and breaking it in has been hard. To accelerate symbiosis I've :

• used olive oil on it
• stuck it in hot water
• put it in a microwave
• tied it up
• and used it as much as possible. 

Quite frankly it is no where near ready. Tuesday I experienced new glove growing pains as literally first hand as I dropped a hard liner. FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Enough cursing - that was Embarrassing. 

This new glove depression ain't taking me hostage. There is no easy Re-Boot in regards to building trust and comfort with a new glove. I'm dealing with it. 

Symbiosis cannot be rushed, but once you have it treasure it.