Softball Whores, Snowball, and Fade to Softball Black

They say the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have problem. Well last night me and a few select others idiots fully became softball whores.
Selling out to play a stupid game in a snowstorm.
Yeah you read that right. We played in the snow.
Literally the whole field was covered in snow.

It was a joke.
Not even a game. a travesty in every sense of the word.
Why we do this you ask?
Besides being stupid and refusing to admit the season is over, our good old friend Yorkoff, I mean Yorkville sports league, refused to cancel the game. Being a self proclaimed softball Nostradamus about a year ago I wrote the following blog about Yorkoff (check it out) http://softballinsider.blogspot.com/2007/10/yorkoff.html.

What really hurts me last night was that the umpires would let people play in those conditions. Last night was abusive and flat out retarded.
Our umpire, Little Loocho , should be ashamed of himself.
Oh yeah, we had a another playoff game scheduled after our game, and get this our opponent who had just finished playing on a field across from us wanted to play.
How moronic is that???!?!
The umps being the non confrontational morons actually had to call the league and ask their opinion. Only then was the game called.
Retardville

Whatever.

The season is now over and this will be my last softball blog for 2008.
Thank god
But before I fade to softball black

I am reminded of one of my favorite Jay-Z lyrics that goes like this :
"They say they never really miss you til you dead or you gone" So on that note I'm leaving after the song So you ain't gotta feel no way about Jay so long At least let me tell you why I'm this way, Hold on "

Top Ten Things I liked to say before I fade to Softball Black for 2008

10. To the people who write comments and sign it as Mr. Anonymous - Nah forget it. Why acknowledge you now if you won't even acknowledge yourself cowards, but I will say keep them comments coming at least it means someone is reading.

9. It's going to be a long winter, but the softball love will still be there stronger than ever.

8. 2008 was a crazy year in the Real World with the economic crisis, but I survived it thanks in part to Loocho (about to make the call below) who got me umpiring work in tough times Thank you brother

7. Of all the teams I played on my favorite and most frustrating was West in the Big Apple league. I accepted my role as catcher and hit the ball hard very consistently, but had little to show for it. The softball gods work in mysterious ways.

6. My best moment of the year was driving in a key two out run in the championship against Caquito in the NY Fast pitch league. One good key hit against a stud pitcher is worth 1,000,000,000,000,000 hits against low level competition.

5. Whether you hate him or love him the game needs John Castillo back - it wasn't the same without him.

4. I played on 3 teams that folded - Uptown Chief, Aguillas, and Bloomberg Blaze plus we had over 10 guys quit on us in Knockout in the fall. Crazy and not Fun

3. Speaking of Inwood - running Inwood this year sucked b/c of the weather, but in the end we had a strong playoff season, Knockout became fun to play on and I was happy to see several friends I had on the Westlanders enjoy their Championship.

Inwood will be back in 09!!!!!

2. I will turn 40 in 2009. The final destination softball grim reaper is coming so my softball New Years resolution is try and enjoy every moment I can while I can.

and the Number One I thing I'd like to say before I fade to Softball Black for 2008

1. HOLLER!!!!!!!!!! not original I know but appropriate - hope to blog to you soon in 09'

As Jay-Z would say" if you can't respect that your whole perspective is wack maybe you'll love me when I fade to black"

PUMP THE FIST!!!!!!

A lot of fans like it when their favorite players show emotion like Joba "pumping the fist" after he gets a key out.

But in baseball/softball opponents do not like it.

Also, talking trash/shit is a no no.

The Phillies have made a point saying that Jose Reyes on field celebrations always gives them added motivation.

But the truth is that almost everyone celebrates on the field nowadays when something big happens.

See Jose Reyes critic Shane Victorino "pumping his fist" as he rounds the bases after Homering - hypocrite

On field celebrations and talking trash is goonish and foul. Bad Karma

The Softball/Baseball gods do not approve.

But all the best players do it.

Trash Talkers and fist pumpers are only liked when they are on your team.
When they are on the other side you hate them

For example, the Mets and Yankees just signed two of the biggest fist pumping culprits

K-Rod and CC Sabathtia

Just another reason to hate NY.

But I guess when your a pitcher and really good people will look the other way.

Same in softball.

One of the biggest culprit's is stud pitcher Fran.

Fran is an excellent legal modified pitcher

A championship pitcher.

Any team would be lucky to have him.

But part of his game is talking trash.

They works for him and times can work against him.

That being said anyone have his number for next year :))))))))

Pole is to Mound as Stripper is to Pitcher - Law of Transitivity

Top Ten Reasons Why Pole is to Mound as Stripper is to Pitcher

10. Let's get this one out of the way it's their place of business.

They both get $$$ PAID $$$ to perform on them.

Stripper's get money, jewelry, liquor, drugs, cars, etc to bump and grind on the pole.
Ace pitchers get paid in money, jewelry, rides, liquor, food, weed, jobs, apartments, etc to stand on the mound (actually in softball it's usually a hole) and get people out.

9. They work alone on them.

8. They get to show off their bodies out there. Your naked out there with only bouncers and your defense to protect you.

7. You must maintain Concentration and Focus on both otherwise you will get knocked off by all the cat calls, heckling, and yelling.

6.All Eyes are on You. Men look at you, study you, and fantasize about you while you out there. They want you

5. Originality is a must while on them. You always need a new routine, new look , a new song, a new delivery, a new pitch to keep your customers coming back for more. Once you get a customer or batter thinking then you have him where you want him.

4. When your on the Pole or mound you become someone else in order to get the job done.

3. To be successful on each one must maintain Control and Balance

2. You can work on both drunk and high

and the Number One Reasons Why Pole is to Mound as Stripper is to Pitcher

1. Both are a source of Power and Confidence

There is another Skywalker : MATT WASOWSKI

While I am not even in the same stratosphere as a player as MATT WASOWSKI, it is good to know that I am not alone in the universe in regards to writing about softball.

There is another softball writing Skywalker - MATT WASOWSKI



Matt published this article a few years ago and it's great stuff

check it out:

http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/new_york_new_york/for_love_of_the_fame.php

p.s. Matt I an openly trying to recruit you (Sorry Marty) to play with me whenever it's convenient for you please contact me at rickysoftball2@yahoo.com

Holler!!!!!!!

NUM3R3RS!!!!!!!!!! 4 8 15 16 23 42

They same baseball is a game of numbers.
One common use of numbers comes in the form of statistics.

Batting Average - most common success barometer of a hitter's ability
Batting Avg with men in scoring position - AROD knows all about this number
On Base Percentage - Billy Bean lovers can relate
Number of Stolen Bases - Fantasy Baseball lovers love steals!!!!
ERA - shows a pitchers effectiveness in limiting runs

All the numbers broken down over time mean something.
But we'll leave that nerdy conversation for another time.

Another use of Numbers is identification.
Players wear numbers on the back of their Jersey to let people know who they are.
This number is personal.
It's Your baseball/softball Identity.

What does the number on the back of your Jersey say about you?

10. Favorite Player - You wear a number to honor your childhood hero.
Whether it be Pete Rose, Willie Randolph, Don Mattingly, etc ...
This says your a sentimental fool
9. Number 99 - says your an attention starved weirdo
8. Number 00 - another nut job
7. Number 7 - says your superstitious.
6. Number 13 - Your telling everyone that your so good that you don't care about superstition ( Dan Marino and AROD) - Shows Confidence!!!!!!!!!
5. Birthday - A lot of people wear their birthday for good luck. OK I can see that it's your way of being yourself. "Lou 22" for example
4. Number 69 - your a freak and pervert
3. Honor someone special.
Like Jackie "42" Robinson or Roberto "21" Clemente - you wear the number of someone you admire or miss. This says you have heart and realize baseball/softball is more than just a game.
Tie at #2
2a. Nickname Identification- 10 Mr Top Ten? - loser and weirdo
2b. Age - I knew of a pitcher who wore his age on his jersey - last year he was 72 - says your proud of who you are and that your clever

and the Number One Thing the Number on your jersey says about you

1. Individuality.
As a weird as it sounds, even though your tagged with a number it is really more than just a number. It stands for something. It gives you a meaning, a purpose, an identity