It's Christmas and most people don't give a thought or even a damn about softball, nor should they I mean it's about kids, family, friends, and appreciating the good in our lives.
I love all the characters associated with X-mas and in my sick twisted mind I see a connection between them and Softball enthusiasts I know.
Oh Oh I guess that means I'm in the mood to write a Top Ten
Top Ten people or things in Softball that resemble Christmas Characters
10. SANTA!!!!!!
Everyone loves Old Saint Nick - and in softball everyone loves Jimmy Bitros.
When making a pick-up lineup he's checking his list, checking it twice, to make sure which
pick-up locos has been incarcerated more than twice.
Also, Jeff Marcus gets honorable mention as Santa only b/c he used to look like him before going on a diet.
9. Elves.
Santa slaves.
Poor guys don't even have a union and don't know how to function in normal society.
In Softball everyone in central park pick-up is like an elf ( me included) - angry for no reason.
Elves love Santa, Pick up players love Jimmy. Yet the both want to kill their leaders at times.
8. Reindeer's.
These guys are Union.
These guys are studs who get special treatment b/c Santa can't do the job without them.
They only work once a year and when the weather gets bad they stick some reindeer which a disability in the front in case they crash.
In softball, Stud players and wringers are reindeer's.
They think they are better than everyone else b/c they know the manager cant win without them. Fill in the blanks on who you think fits this description
7. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. - Bro they wrote a song about this guy
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.
You know the rest.
In Softball Rudolph is the worst guy on your team that most people shit on b/c that's human nature until he comes through for you big time and wins you some games. Rick?
6. Baby New Year
OK hes not really a Christmas character but who could ever forget the big eared kid from the Rudolph Christmas Special. Baby New Year symbolized a new beginning and after a long season all players crave a new beginning with the upcoming season
5. The Grinch that Stole Christmas - man this guy was cold and ruthless out for #1.
In softball, there are many nominees. Yorkoff, Rosenfishy, but I nominate wringer slinger pitchers who penetrate modified leagues and ruin the competitive balance of a league.
4. Tiny Tim. Mr."God Bless us all everyone"
In softball Little Dave is like an Angry version of Tiny Tim.
Except all Dave wants for Christmas is playing time and walks.
3. Bob Cratchit - worked for Ebeneezer Scrooge.
Had a tough job and was underpaid, but loved his family.
The softball version of Bob Cratchit is Blonde, the commissioner from Citysoftball.com.
Puts up with a lot of bullshit and doesn't make any real money
2. Ebeneezer Scrooge. A Christmas Carol
Cheap, lonely, abusive, mean and bitter is no way to go through life.
Al Morales and Yorkoff softball represent Ebeneezer Scrooge.
They need to change.
Honorable mention Rick
and the #1 Softball Players that resemble Christmas Characters
1. Ghost of Past Present, and Future from a Christmas Carol
Ghost of Past - Van Courtland and Fat Freddy Lob Ball Softball league in the Bronx.
This is were it all began.
Present - Central Park, 54rth street, Long Island, Inwood - Good times that should be enjoyed
Future - for RIck - El Parque de la Ochenta - I live in Union City now, time to play in NJ
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Award Parties
So far this off season I have gone to a couple of softball award parties/dinners and it got me to asking why do people love award dinner/parties.
Top Ten Reasons People Love Softball Award Dinner and Parties.
10. Players love to walk the red carpet and get interviewed by Joan Rivers and her annoying daughter. The Fashion Police is out in full effect. Ballplayers love to get Blinged Out!! Gotta see which players have a big gold chain around their neck that is in the shape of their uniform number.
9. Sincere Friendship and Loyalty.
8. Chance to hang out with Pete Martinez the godfather of softball. Love his Outfits.
7. Free Food
6. Free Liquor - free is the common theme here
5. It's old skool - nerdy but cool.
4. The Speeches - Who needs to see the new Denzel Washington movie for a good speech when you can here the Oscar level quality speeches that go on at Softball Award dinners.
3. Can't play outside now and get away from wives, work, etc., so the award dinner gives them one last chance to get away and cling to softball.
2. Trophies provide a sense of personal achievement. I personally don't like trophies, to me they are just dust collectors. I really like Team pictures/plaques - they are classy and a provide a very nice personal memory.
and the #1 Reasons People Love Softball Award Dinner and Parties.
1. Next Year!!! Everyone clings to next year. People like to talk about who they will recruit, who will manage, and how good they are. Basically people love to Gossip, Bag, and Showoff.
Top Ten Reasons People Love Softball Award Dinner and Parties.
10. Players love to walk the red carpet and get interviewed by Joan Rivers and her annoying daughter. The Fashion Police is out in full effect. Ballplayers love to get Blinged Out!! Gotta see which players have a big gold chain around their neck that is in the shape of their uniform number.
9. Sincere Friendship and Loyalty.
8. Chance to hang out with Pete Martinez the godfather of softball. Love his Outfits.
7. Free Food
6. Free Liquor - free is the common theme here
5. It's old skool - nerdy but cool.
4. The Speeches - Who needs to see the new Denzel Washington movie for a good speech when you can here the Oscar level quality speeches that go on at Softball Award dinners.
3. Can't play outside now and get away from wives, work, etc., so the award dinner gives them one last chance to get away and cling to softball.
2. Trophies provide a sense of personal achievement. I personally don't like trophies, to me they are just dust collectors. I really like Team pictures/plaques - they are classy and a provide a very nice personal memory.
and the #1 Reasons People Love Softball Award Dinner and Parties.
1. Next Year!!! Everyone clings to next year. People like to talk about who they will recruit, who will manage, and how good they are. Basically people love to Gossip, Bag, and Showoff.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
YORKOFF!!!!!!
For the last several seasons I have played in a weekday fall softball league called
Yorkville Sports Association.
Yorkville is not a league, rather it is a business. In fact it is a rip off.
Hence, the name YorkOff!
Unfortunately, it is a business that is not yet regulated by the better business bureau.
Leagues, like people, are not perfect, but this association operates under the veil of a monopoly as they control numerous fields throughout the city. More often than not, they do what and when they want at the expense of player safety and fair competitive play all in the name of $$$$$$$$$!!!!!!
Here are some examples of poor service:
(1) Umpires
It's hard to get good reliable umps in any league, but in this league the umps are in on the hustle. Bases are placed at major league distances so as to speed up the game.
The umps care more about hurrying a game rather than having a good game.
Yorkville umpires strikes zone are notoriously wider than the grand canyon.
Rarely do umps cancel games due to weather or poor field conditions. Safety comes last.
(2) Field Quality.
While it's not Yorkville's fault that 54th street field is the worst field in the city (it will be redone into turf this winter) it has been called "Donde Caga La Vaca" ( Where the cows shit).
It is their fault that games have been played with puddles the size of the Atlantic everywhere and with several banks of lights out that make seeing the ball a task that only Bugs Bunny could accomplish. Their idea of working on the field is having the president of the league drive around the field with a rake or broom tied to the back of his 4X4 pickup truck or SUV. Pathetic
(3) Player safety.
Recently on a day when the field (especially home plate and 3rd base) was covered with puddles they played a co-ed game where the batters box started at the mound and the pitcher threw from 2nd base. Ridiculous and dangerous.
(4) Games Times
This is there schedule (in blue)
Yorkville Fall League - coed games use earlier slots and men's are later
Coed - 6:00 earliest
- 7:30 latest
- And any time in between
Men's - 7:30 earliest
- 9:00 latest
- And any time in between
* Sorry We Do Not Accept Requests For Game Times *
Days
Our Fall League is Monday - Thursday. Teams may pick 2 days of the week they would like to play on and Yorkville will attempt to schedule all regular season games on 1 of your 2 choices. Playoffs and rescheduled games may not be on your chosen day.
Games per week
1 game per week
1 bye week per season (this means you will not play 1 week due to odd # of teams)
You may see additional games per week or double headers depending on cancellations due to rain outs etc.
What strikes me is the following:
(5) Cost.
HOW MUCH IS IT?
To play in Yorkville Fall League as a team it is $870.00 for the season.
That's $145 a game for a 6 game season. That's quite a hustle
(6) Payouts
You can make only $130 (1,000 - 870) if you win the whole thing?!?!? That's a joke.
More importantly, the playoff structure is NCAA Basketball style single elimination tournament. Single elimination in softball? One and done. Not much value there.
Finally, the only reason I play in this league is that my manager's business sponsors our team. I would never pay a penny to play in this league and neither should you.
Next year the league will probably be better thanks to the new field. As mentioned above, no league is perfect, but in this league you seem to get very little value for you investment of time and money.
Softball Zagat Rating - One Star - Avoid if possible
Yorkville Sports Association.
Yorkville is not a league, rather it is a business. In fact it is a rip off.
Hence, the name YorkOff!
Unfortunately, it is a business that is not yet regulated by the better business bureau.
Leagues, like people, are not perfect, but this association operates under the veil of a monopoly as they control numerous fields throughout the city. More often than not, they do what and when they want at the expense of player safety and fair competitive play all in the name of $$$$$$$$$!!!!!!
Here are some examples of poor service:
(1) Umpires
It's hard to get good reliable umps in any league, but in this league the umps are in on the hustle. Bases are placed at major league distances so as to speed up the game.
The umps care more about hurrying a game rather than having a good game.
Yorkville umpires strikes zone are notoriously wider than the grand canyon.
Rarely do umps cancel games due to weather or poor field conditions. Safety comes last.
(2) Field Quality.
While it's not Yorkville's fault that 54th street field is the worst field in the city (it will be redone into turf this winter) it has been called "Donde Caga La Vaca" ( Where the cows shit).
It is their fault that games have been played with puddles the size of the Atlantic everywhere and with several banks of lights out that make seeing the ball a task that only Bugs Bunny could accomplish. Their idea of working on the field is having the president of the league drive around the field with a rake or broom tied to the back of his 4X4 pickup truck or SUV. Pathetic
(3) Player safety.
Recently on a day when the field (especially home plate and 3rd base) was covered with puddles they played a co-ed game where the batters box started at the mound and the pitcher threw from 2nd base. Ridiculous and dangerous.
(4) Games Times
This is there schedule (in blue)
Yorkville Fall League - coed games use earlier slots and men's are later
Coed - 6:00 earliest
- 7:30 latest
- And any time in between
Men's - 7:30 earliest
- 9:00 latest
- And any time in between
* Sorry We Do Not Accept Requests For Game Times *
Days
Our Fall League is Monday - Thursday. Teams may pick 2 days of the week they would like to play on and Yorkville will attempt to schedule all regular season games on 1 of your 2 choices. Playoffs and rescheduled games may not be on your chosen day.
Games per week
1 game per week
1 bye week per season (this means you will not play 1 week due to odd # of teams)
You may see additional games per week or double headers depending on cancellations due to rain outs etc.
What strikes me is the following:
- I love the "We Do Not Accept Requests For Game Times" policy.
- 9pm games in 30 degree weather? Are you fing kidding me? 9pm start is too late anyway.
- Bye weeks? It's a six game fall season why do you need byes? B/C of the odd # of teams? That means they are like the airlines that get greedy and over book flights, I mean teams, and the consumer misses out a chance to play in the good weather and is stuck with playing in the brutal cold.
(5) Cost.
HOW MUCH IS IT?
To play in Yorkville Fall League as a team it is $870.00 for the season.
That's $145 a game for a 6 game season. That's quite a hustle
(6) Payouts
| WHAT DOES IT INCLUDE? | ||
6 regular season games, officials for the game, permits for the fields the team plays on, playoffs for the top 4 teams, and $1,000.00 cash prize to the league champion. |
You can make only $130 (1,000 - 870) if you win the whole thing?!?!? That's a joke.
More importantly, the playoff structure is NCAA Basketball style single elimination tournament. Single elimination in softball? One and done. Not much value there.
Finally, the only reason I play in this league is that my manager's business sponsors our team. I would never pay a penny to play in this league and neither should you.
Next year the league will probably be better thanks to the new field. As mentioned above, no league is perfect, but in this league you seem to get very little value for you investment of time and money.
Softball Zagat Rating - One Star - Avoid if possible
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Pinch Hitting
Today I was pinch hit for.
No one likes to get pinch hit for.
But that's a pride and ego thing.
The more important question to ask is when is it the right time to pinch hit for someone.
Top Ten Pinch Hitting Manual for Managers
10. You batter is an absolute sure out. I mean someone who has only 2 chances of getting a hit - slim and none. He's got to go.
9. Your PH is a significant upgrade for your current hitter. If PH a motivated player go for it
8. Your current batter is drunk, high and useless - dead weight has got to go.
7. Never pinch hit someone who is cold, high, and out of it. 99% of the time it's a waste.
6. Reputation should never matter. Only production matters. People like to talk. Talk is cheap
5. Always pinch hit for someone who doesn't want to hit and is afraid. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
4. The situation. What do you need ? A HR? A sac fly? Move the runner over? Use the guy who has the best chance to get the job done.
3. Never listen to people who show no loyalty to you and fuck over players who have been loyal to you. It's not worth it. Don't sell out b/c they want you to make moves.
2. If a good hitter has shows up late use him once you think he is ready. Never go to war without using all your bullets.
and the #1 Pinch Hitting Manual for Managers
1. PH is overrated. Mangers who like to PH are usually desperate or power tripping. Focus more on putting your starters in the best position o win and worry about PH later.
No one likes to get pinch hit for.
But that's a pride and ego thing.
The more important question to ask is when is it the right time to pinch hit for someone.
Top Ten Pinch Hitting Manual for Managers
10. You batter is an absolute sure out. I mean someone who has only 2 chances of getting a hit - slim and none. He's got to go.
9. Your PH is a significant upgrade for your current hitter. If PH a motivated player go for it
8. Your current batter is drunk, high and useless - dead weight has got to go.
7. Never pinch hit someone who is cold, high, and out of it. 99% of the time it's a waste.
6. Reputation should never matter. Only production matters. People like to talk. Talk is cheap
5. Always pinch hit for someone who doesn't want to hit and is afraid. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
4. The situation. What do you need ? A HR? A sac fly? Move the runner over? Use the guy who has the best chance to get the job done.
3. Never listen to people who show no loyalty to you and fuck over players who have been loyal to you. It's not worth it. Don't sell out b/c they want you to make moves.
2. If a good hitter has shows up late use him once you think he is ready. Never go to war without using all your bullets.
and the #1 Pinch Hitting Manual for Managers
1. PH is overrated. Mangers who like to PH are usually desperate or power tripping. Focus more on putting your starters in the best position o win and worry about PH later.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
WALK OFF!!!!!!!!!!
Today Elvis hit a two strike, two out, two run homer in the bottom of the 10th to give us (The Cardinals) the win in the first game of a best of three series.
Elvis is without a doubt one of the best players in all of softball. Much props to his clutch blast.
Is there a more exciting play in sofball than a walk off homer?
Top Ten Things that make a walk off homer so special.
10. They are so rare and memorable
9. The finality of it. There is no get them next time. The game is over.
8. The drama.
7. Performance under pressure against good competition.
6. The thrill
5. The pile on at home plate, Man the batter gets fucked up
4. We all dream about it
3. The wonderful memory it gives you
2. The after party. Time to drink. smoke, and be merry
and he #1 Things hat make a walk off homer so special.
1. It's a special thing exclusive to baseball where the winning team acts like they are nine years old while at the same time it breaks the valiant losers heart.
Elvis is without a doubt one of the best players in all of softball. Much props to his clutch blast.
Is there a more exciting play in sofball than a walk off homer?
Top Ten Things that make a walk off homer so special.
10. They are so rare and memorable
9. The finality of it. There is no get them next time. The game is over.
8. The drama.
7. Performance under pressure against good competition.
6. The thrill
5. The pile on at home plate, Man the batter gets fucked up
4. We all dream about it
3. The wonderful memory it gives you
2. The after party. Time to drink. smoke, and be merry
and he #1 Things hat make a walk off homer so special.
1. It's a special thing exclusive to baseball where the winning team acts like they are nine years old while at the same time it breaks the valiant losers heart.
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