Award Parties

So far this off season I have gone to a couple of softball award parties/dinners and it got me to asking why do people love award dinner/parties.

Top Ten Reasons People Love Softball Award Dinner and Parties.

10. Players love to walk the red carpet and get interviewed by Joan Rivers and her annoying daughter. The Fashion Police is out in full effect. Ballplayers love to get Blinged Out!! Gotta see which players have a big gold chain around their neck that is in the shape of their uniform number.
9. Sincere Friendship and Loyalty.
8. Chance to hang out with Pete Martinez the godfather of softball. Love his Outfits.



















7. Free Food
6. Free Liquor - free is the common theme here
5. It's old skool - nerdy but cool.
4. The Speeches - Who needs to see the new Denzel Washington movie for a good speech when you can here the Oscar level quality speeches that go on at Softball Award dinners.
3. Can't play outside now and get away from wives, work, etc., so the award dinner gives them one last chance to get away and cling to softball.
2. Trophies provide a sense of personal achievement. I personally don't like trophies, to me they are just dust collectors. I really like Team pictures/plaques - they are classy and a provide a very nice personal memory.

and the #1 Reasons People Love Softball Award Dinner and Parties.

1. Next Year!!! Everyone clings to next year. People like to talk about who they will recruit, who will manage, and how good they are. Basically people love to Gossip, Bag, and Showoff.

YORKOFF!!!!!!

For the last several seasons I have played in a weekday fall softball league called
Yorkville Sports Association.

Yorkville is not a league, rather it is a business. In fact it is a rip off.
Hence, the name YorkOff!
Unfortunately, it is a business that is not yet regulated by the better business bureau.
Leagues, like people, are not perfect, but this association operates under the veil of a monopoly as they control numerous fields throughout the city. More often than not, they do what and when they want at the expense of player safety and fair competitive play all in the name of $$$$$$$$$!!!!!!

Here are some examples of poor service:

(1) Umpires
It's hard to get good reliable umps in any league, but in this league the umps are in on the hustle. Bases are placed at major league distances so as to speed up the game.
The umps care more about hurrying a game rather than having a good game.
Yorkville umpires strikes zone are notoriously wider than the grand canyon.
Rarely do umps cancel games due to weather or poor field conditions. Safety comes last.

(2) Field Quality.
While it's not Yorkville's fault that 54th street field is the worst field in the city (it will be redone into turf this winter) it has been called "Donde Caga La Vaca" ( Where the cows shit).
It is their fault that games have been played with puddles the size of the Atlantic everywhere and with several banks of lights out that make seeing the ball a task that only Bugs Bunny could accomplish. Their idea of working on the field is having the president of the league drive around the field with a rake or broom tied to the back of his 4X4 pickup truck or SUV. Pathetic

(3) Player safety.
Recently on a day when the field (especially home plate and 3rd base) was covered with puddles they played a co-ed game where the batters box started at the mound and the pitcher threw from 2nd base. Ridiculous and dangerous.

(4) Games Times
This is there schedule (in blue)

Yorkville Fall League - coed games use earlier slots and men's are later
Coed - 6:00 earliest
- 7:30 latest
- And any time in between

Men's - 7:30 earliest
- 9:00 latest
- And any time in between
* Sorry We Do Not Accept Requests For Game Times *

Days
Our Fall League is Monday - Thursday. Teams may pick 2 days of the week they would like to play on and Yorkville will attempt to schedule all regular season games on 1 of your 2 choices. Playoffs and rescheduled games may not be on your chosen day.

Games per week

1 game per week
1 bye week per season (this means you will not play 1 week due to odd # of teams)
You may see additional games per week or double headers depending on cancellations due to rain outs etc.

What strikes me is the following:

1. I love the "We Do Not Accept Requests For Game Times" policy.
2. 9pm games in 30 degree weather? Are you fing kidding me? 9pm start is too late anyway.
   
3. Bye weeks? It's a six game fall season why do you need byes? B/C of the odd # of teams? That means they are like the airlines that get greedy and over book flights, I mean teams, and the consumer misses out a chance to play in the good weather and is stuck with playing in the brutal cold.

(5) Cost.


HOW MUCH IS IT?


To play in Yorkville Fall League as a team it is $870.00 for the season.

That's $145 a game for a 6 game season. That's quite a hustle


(6) Payouts

	WHAT DOES IT INCLUDE?
	6 regular season games, officials for the game, permits for the fields the team plays on, playoffs for the top 4 teams, and $1,000.00 cash prize to the league champion.

You can make only $130 (1,000 - 870) if you win the whole thing?!?!? That's a joke.
More importantly, the playoff structure is NCAA Basketball style single elimination tournament. Single elimination in softball? One and done. Not much value there.


Finally, the only reason I play in this league is that my manager's business sponsors our team. I would never pay a penny to play in this league and neither should you.
Next year the league will probably be better thanks to the new field. As mentioned above, no league is perfect, but in this league you seem to get very little value for you investment of time and money.

Softball Zagat Rating - One Star - Avoid if possible

Pinch Hitting

Today I was pinch hit for.
No one likes to get pinch hit for.
But that's a pride and ego thing.
The more important question to ask is when is it the right time to pinch hit for someone.

Top Ten Pinch Hitting Manual for Managers

10. You batter is an absolute sure out. I mean someone who has only 2 chances of getting a hit - slim and none. He's got to go.
9. Your PH is a significant upgrade for your current hitter. If PH a motivated player go for it
8. Your current batter is drunk, high and useless - dead weight has got to go.
7. Never pinch hit someone who is cold, high, and out of it. 99% of the time it's a waste.
6. Reputation should never matter. Only production matters. People like to talk. Talk is cheap
5. Always pinch hit for someone who doesn't want to hit and is afraid. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
4. The situation. What do you need ? A HR? A sac fly? Move the runner over? Use the guy who has the best chance to get the job done.
3. Never listen to people who show no loyalty to you and fuck over players who have been loyal to you. It's not worth it. Don't sell out b/c they want you to make moves.
2. If a good hitter has shows up late use him once you think he is ready. Never go to war without using all your bullets.

and the #1 Pinch Hitting Manual for Managers

1. PH is overrated. Mangers who like to PH are usually desperate or power tripping. Focus more on putting your starters in the best position o win and worry about PH later.

WALK OFF!!!!!!!!!!

Today Elvis hit a two strike, two out, two run homer in the bottom of the 10th to give us (The Cardinals) the win in the first game of a best of three series.

Elvis is without a doubt one of the best players in all of softball. Much props to his clutch blast.

Is there a more exciting play in sofball than a walk off homer?

Top Ten Things that make a walk off homer so special.

10. They are so rare and memorable
9. The finality of it. There is no get them next time. The game is over.
8. The drama.
7. Performance under pressure against good competition.
6. The thrill
5. The pile on at home plate, Man the batter gets fucked up
4. We all dream about it
3. The wonderful memory it gives you
2. The after party. Time to drink. smoke, and be merry

and he #1 Things hat make a walk off homer so special.

1. It's a special thing exclusive to baseball where the winning team acts like they are nine years old while at the same time it breaks the valiant losers heart.

JOSAY JOSAY JOSAY JOSAY JOSAY JOSAY

The picture above is of Jose Carrion during Knockout's 2006 celebration party!!! Jose passed out that night, after messing up everyone' high

Jose is one of the funniest, talented, and most dangerous (to both his team and opponents) players in all of Softball. Yet Jose hasn't been seen in weeks. TBS could sure use him.

So the question must be asked " Where is Jose?"

Top Ten Reasons why Jose hasn't been showing up to Inwood

10. Drive from his Connecticut home is simply too far
9. He loves drama will return for the playoffs
8. Works for Bacardi family now. Passed out like in the picture on a daily basis now
7. Family Guy - signed by the WB network to film a modern version of Leave it to Beaver
6. Jose knows he can't top George Colon's ump rage outburst from a few weeks ago so he stays home and sulks
5. Plays Softball in Connecticut with white guys that call him Joe and think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Little do they know.
4. Thinking of new ways to make simple throws more complicated and life threatening for 1st baseman
3. Doesn't smoke anymore and doesn't want to be around temptation
2. Starting career as porn director specializing in African American heavy weight beauty's

and the #1 Reasons why Jose hasn't been showing up to Inwood

1. I wish I knew - we could use him